Loving You Is What I Was Trying To Do
by pixieyow
Summary: What if Bella had left Edward in New Moon rather than the other way around? Bella has left Edward, thinking it was the right thing to do for him and his family. Now she is back in Phoenix but what happens when Victoria enters the scene seeking revenge
1. Prologue

Prologue

EPOV

I knew I loved her more than she loved me. She had always tried to convince me otherwise. Maybe at one point she actually believed she loved me as much as I loved her. Maybe at one point she actually believed she was in love with a monster. That she could look past it and love me anyways. Maybe, at one point.

But then there was her birthday. Seeing that side of Jasper, seeing the hunger in my family's eyes; I think she suddenly realized that she had been lying to herself all along. How could she love us? Love me? We were nothing but monsters constantly putting her in danger. She had finally seen that.

I had to let her go.

BPOV

I'll never forget his face. The face he wore when he attacked Jasper to save me. The deep anguished face he wore home afterwards. The blank stare he wore on the ride home. Tortured. He was tortured. Not just him, his family. Esme, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and even Carlisle. I was torturing them every moment I was around. If my blood wasn't torture to them, what I was doing to their family definitely was. I know Jasper had to have felt awful after what had happened. And I knew how the others worried about him, about Edward…about me. I had never seen it before then. I had never seen how much my presence affected them. Affected Edward.

I loved Edward. I love Edward. I will always love Edward.

After my birthday I knew what I had to do. I couldn't put them through it anymore. Especially Edward. He never stopped worrying about me. And he never stopped being tortured by me. My blood and the constant threat I was to his family was too much for him to handle. He would never say that to me, but I knew.

I knew what I had needed to do. Even though I knew then that I would never be able to get over it.

* * *

_Edward, I can't do this anymore. I'm moving back to Phoenix. I can't be here anymore…with you. It's too dangerous. _

"Ladies and Gentleman we will be landing in ten minutes time…" Thank God. I thought this flight would never end. Hopefully Renee had gotten the message I left her before the plane took off, other wise I'd need to call a taxi.

_Bella. _

_No Edward. Please don't speak, just let it be…please. You said yourself we shouldn't be friends. Why did we ever think this could work out? It can't. We…can't. _

I quickly shut my eyes to keep the tears from flowing…I hadn't cried yet and I was planning on putting it off as long as possible.

Other than a quick hello to Renee, I was silent the entire ride home, just looking aimlessly out the window.

_Bella, I thought…_

_Edward…please…please just let me leave._

It was too easy. The entire time I had inwardly begged him to stop me. To tell me I was wrong. That I was being stupid. At the very least, he should have forced me to better explain myself.

But he didn't. He just let me go.

Just like I had asked him too.

_Goodbye Bella._

Finally alone in my room I collapsed on the ground and let my emotions take over.


	2. He'll Get Over Me

Chapter Two~ He'll Get Over Me.

APOV

"It's not time yet."

"Alice, he's been gone for days…"

"It's not time yet Jasper. I'll go get him when it's time. But it's not time yet." I sat cradled in Jasper's arms in our bedroom, where I had been since Bella left. By the time I had had the vision of her leaving it was too late to warn Edward, instead I had gone to her house to wait for her.

"_Alice! What a lovely surprise! Bella isn't home right now, I believe she's out with your brother." _

"_That's ok. Is it ok if I sit here with you Charlie until she comes home?"_

"_Of course, it's always a pleasure when you visit!" Charlie led me and I took a seat on the sofa and started up a conversation with him while I patiently waited for Bella to come in. After a while I heard the soft tread of Bella's feet from a distance. Ten minutes later she opened the door._

"_Bella, look who's here!" Charlie called out to her as she looked in my direction. Her eyes were slightly puffy and watery as she quickly looked down and avoided eye contact with me._

"_Hi Alice." She mumbled "I should have known you'd be here."_

"_Bella, lets go upstairs. Thanks for waiting with me Charlie!" I winked as I gracefully guided Bella up to her room and led her to the bed. She sat there refusing to look me in the face. She looked awful…first of all, she wasn't matching at all…her hair was falling out of her pony tail and her face was full of grief and guilt. _

"_Alice, I…"_

"_Why Bella? Why are you leaving us? Is it because of Jasper?"_

"_Yes…and no. Not entirely because of Jasper. Oh Alice! I'm so sorry to do this to you…but... it's just…I just…I just can't pretend that I'm not…scared anymore." She finished flatly._

_Her heart skipped a beat._

_She lied. I could hear it in her heartbeat. I could see it in her eyes. She's lying. What is she hiding from me?_

"_Bella. Tell me the truth…I know it's not because you're scared…"_

"_Yes it is Alice! How could I not be scared when I know all of you are constantly trying not to kill me!?!" She continued to not look at me while she said this, but her heartbeat was still off…why was she lying? Why would my best friend lie to me? _

"_Alice, please don't question it. Just let it be."_

I felt a wave of worry rush through me as I jerked away from my thoughts.

"Jasper?"

"Sorry, I'm just worried about Edward. And Bella."

Feeling the rush of guilt swell from Jasper I turned my head to meet his eyes, grasped his face in my hands and whispered, "Jasper, don't do this to yourself. You are not the reason she left. I know you're not." He grinned as a wave of assurance expanded from him as I kissed him lightly on his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too"

"It's time. I'll bring him home…I just know it" Winking at him, I jumped up and headed off to find Edward.

* * *

BPOV

I had no idea how long I had been laying on the floor crying. I sat up slowly and crossed my legs, looking around my old room. Everything was pretty much the same, just a little bit emptier than before. I should probably unpack.

Stretching as I stood, I glanced at myself in the mirror and noticed the tear streaks running down my face. I roughly wiped my face on my sleeve while picking up my suitcase to place on my old bed. I was startled to find a note lying on top of my clothes on the inside of my suitcase.

_Bella, I don't know why you left, but I know it isn't because you're scared. I __will__ find out. I love you Bella, you are my best friend…my sister. _

_Love,_

_Alice_

_P.S._

_I took the liberty of switching out some of your clothes._

How in the world did she manage to go through my suitcase?? Sneaky vampires. I couldn't help but giggle a little bit at the thought of Alice going through my clothes with disapproval. I'm going to miss her so much.

It's for her own good.

Right?

I mean, I'm nothing but trouble to them. Always getting in danger, always causing a rift in the family, apparently I'm also always enticing them with my blood…

Yes. It is for her own good. She'll get over it. They all will. They're vampires; they have so many better things to do then worry about a human. They will get over it.

Even Edward.

He'll get over it. He'll get over me.

I felt my lips start to quiver and my eyes fill with tears again. _Bella! Get a hold of yourself!_ I gripped the bedpost trying to steady myself and fight back the tears.

"Bella?"

"Umm…be there in a sec!" I took a deep breath and checked the mirror to see if it was noticeable I had been crying…not too bad.

"Hey Mom." I greeted her look of worry as I opened the door.

"Honey," she tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, "Are you okay?"

"Yea Mom. I'm fine," I lied.

Squinting her eyes as if trying to find my lie she replied, "Listen, if you want to talk to me about anything…"

"Mom, I promise, I'm fine."

"Okay. Listen, um…Phil is leaving in the morning to return to Florida but I told him I'd stay here with you…"

"No Mom…go with Phil…I'll be fine. I want you to go with Phil."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"It's just for a little while…"

"Mom, I'll be fine."

"Listen, we're going out for pizza for dinner and you're coming with us. No buts about it!" She grinned and hugged me before leaving the room

I grabbed my shoes and reluctantly followed Renee to the car, Phil was already outside waiting.

"I'm glad you decided to come with us Bella."

"Correction. Forced." Grinning towards Renee while I climbed in the backseat. As we drove to the pizza place I stared out the window silently while Phil and Renee chit chatted. We slowed down a bit getting behind a slow car and that when I noticed the yellow crime scene tape.

"Remember what I told you about that ballet studio Bella? When you were in the hospital? Some street kids burnt it down? Remember?"

How could I forget?

"Yes Mom. I remember."

"Well, they must still be looking for whoever did it, because they haven't done anything with it since then. Phil, I keep telling you, people are getting so slow about fixing up things…" She continued her conversation with Phil as I stared at the burnt rubble that used to be the ballet studio.

I felt goose bumps travel up and down my spine as James' face flashed through my mind.

_I thought this room would be visually dramatic for my little film. That's why I picked this place to meet you. It's perfect, isn't it?_

Shuddering I tore my eyes away from the window and stared at the back of the headrest the rest of the drive.


	3. Our Meadow

Chapter Three~ Our Meadow

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
'Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight

EPOV

_Bella. My Bella, crumpled on the floor in shattered glass, covered in blood, barely breathing, and her heartbeat fluttering faintly…_

All because of me. I knew it then. I knew that the best thing for her would be removing myself from her life…as long as I was in it she would be in danger. I just couldn't do it. I was too selfish, I needed her, I needed my Bella…I still need my Bella.

In some way I was glad Bella had finally seen the danger, but I also knew that I had spent every second hoping she would never realize it. And my world had crashed when she finally did.

"_Hey, um can we go for a walk?" She sounded odd, off. Was she not feeling well? Was it the pain medicine Carlisle had given her for her arm?_

"_Sure. Our meadow?"_

"_No! I mean, umm somewhere different, not to far away." Why? Something was bothering her. What I wouldn't give to be able to hear what she is thinking!_

"_Sure. Bella, how's your arm?"_

"_It's fine." She always said that. "Really, Edward. It doesn't hurt." She must have noticed my look of concern. I watched her as I walked at a human pace with her through the woods. Her brow was creased and she was biting her lip as she kept her eyes on the ground. I had my hand on the small of her back carefully guiding her through the maze of obstacles that posed a threat to tripping my Bella. _

_God how I wanted to know what she was thinking! _

_Abruptly she stopped and turned to face me._

"_Bella? What is it?" I removed my hand from her back and lightly stroked her cheek, feeling a surge of electricity flow through my body as I did so. She didn't look up._

"_Edward, I can't do this anymore. I'm moving back to Phoenix. I can't be here anymore…with you. It's too dangerous." _

_Everything stopped. I couldn't hear the sound of leaves rustling in the wind, the trees were gone, the smell of the forest was gone, I couldn't see anything but Bella._

"_Bella." _

"_No Edward."_

_Her breathing hitched. I felt claustrophobic. I actually felt like I couldn't breath, even though I didn't need to I was desperately trying to take in air. _

"_Please don't speak, just let it be…please. You said yourself we shouldn't be friends. Why did we ever think this could work out? It can't…"_

_I couldn't take in any air…I couldn't breathe her in. _

"_We…can't." _

_We could. We would find a way. I loved her. She loved me. We loved each other. _

"_Bella, I thought…"_

"_Edward…please…please just let me leave."_

_I love her. _

"_Goodbye Bella." Her heart fluttered rapidly and I saw all her muscles tighten but she never looked up at me. I wanted to stare into her beautiful brown eyes so badly but she refused to lift them up to meet my gaze._

_I wanted to yell out for her to stay. Beg her not to leave me. But she was right. I was a monster and my precious Bella would never be safe around me_.

_I tried one last time to breathe her in and she slowly turned and walked away. She never looked up. I watched her walk back towards her house until she finally disappeared. She was gone. I turned and ran, not paying attention to where I was running to. Eventually I stopped and let myself fall to the ground with my eyes closed._

"Bella."

I moaned out her name hoping it would somehow bring her back. I don't know how long I laid there just staring at the back of my eyelids moaning out her name.

Opening my eyes finally I looked around.

Our meadow.

Of course this is where I would have run to.

"Bella!" I groaned out again closing my eyes. They ached from the need to cry and my chest was crumbling under what should have been my heart shattering into pieces. I was a monster.

I felt a small hand grab mine and I shot my eyes open and saw Alice sitting next to me. I didn't even hear her approach, I must have been too wrapped up in my own thoughts to pick up on hers. Of course she had seen me here and I knew she had what had happened.

She smiled sadly and laid down next to me still grasping my hand.

_Edward…_

I shook my head once to let her know I didn't want to talk right now and she turned her thoughts off and laid there silently with me. I watched the memories playing in my head.

_She sat across from, her brown eyes dancing in the light from the restaurant. "You really shouldn't do that to people."_

"_Do what?"_

"_Dazzle them like that—she's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now."_

"_Do I dazzle you?_

_She blushed profusely…beautiful._

"_Frequently."_

I heard myself let out a soft groan and felt Alice grip my hand tighter.

_"'And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…" _

_Her cheeks quickly filled with color and her heart skipped a beat._

"_What a stupid lamb." She sighed while flashing a gorgeous smile._

"_What a sick, masochistic lion." _

"Alice?"

"Edward."

"Why didn't you warn me?"

_Edward, it would have been too late. Her mind was made up, the vision was so clear. It wouldn't have changed anything. Edward I am so sorry. Come home Edward. Everyone is so worried about you._

"Why Alice? Why should I come home? To see everyone's faces? To see Rosalie's I-told-you-so-face? To see Esme's face tortured in pain at seeing me hurt? To see Jasper's face full of guilt? "

_Edward…_

"No Alice."

"Yes Edward. You are coming home with me. And you know good and well that that is not the reason you won't come home." She glared at me as she spoke and then her expression softened as she sat up and stared into my face.

_It's because as soon as you leave this meadow it will be real. A soon as you leave this meadow, there is no escaping the truth that Bella is gone. But you can't avoid it Edward. You have a family that loves you, that cares about you._

"Come home Edward."

I sat up, putting my head in my hands and groaning again. She was right. Alice was always right.

"The sooner you come home the sooner we can work on bringing Bella back."

What did she just say?

"I mean it's only a matter of time and figuring out why she left in the first place. We just need to put our heads together and figure it out…"

"Alice. What are you talking about? We know why she left. And she's not…she's not coming back."

Alice looked at me with a mixture of confusion and surprise, slowly shaking her head in disbelief.

"Edward, don't tell me you believed her? She loves you. She loves us. She would never have left us because she was scared of us."

"Yes Alice! That is exactly why she left!" I jumped up and stared down at my sister. "We're monsters Alice! Monsters!" I heard a few birds fly out of the tree from the volume my voice had reached.

_No Edward...we aren't monsters. We can't be. _

I knelt back down as Alice began to rock back and forth wrapping her arms around her body and placing my arms around I pulled her close to me.

"Alice, I didn't mean…"

_You did mean it. You've always seen us as monsters. I thought Bella had changed that for you. Edward, how could someone filled with so much love be a monster?_

"It's our nature Alice, it's in our nature to attack…"

"But you didn't! You love her Edward! The very presence of her intoxicates you! And it's not just her blood that intoxicates you…it's her! Bella! _Bella_ intoxicates you! Your love overpowers any _monster_ that is lurking inside!"

"It's not enough Alice. Love won't keep her alive. She did the right thing. For the first time in her life she's done something safe." Taking me out of her life.

"But Edward…"

"No more Alice. Let's go home."

I took one last look around the meadow and thought back to when she was in the hospital after James almost killed her.

_Bella looked more fragile than ever, she was covered in bruises and cuts…but that's not what looked so fragile. Her eyes. She was terrified I was going to leave her and her eyes were filled with terror, worry, pain, hurt…love. I couldn't tear myself away from her. It was impossible. Bella is my life._

"_I told you I'm not going anywhere. Don't be afraid. As long as it makes you happy, I'll be here."_

_I saw the relief wash over her eyes as she tried to smile without wincing from the pain. God she was beautiful. _

"_You're talking about forever, you know."_

"_That's the beautiful thing about being human. Things change."_

I wish I had been wrong.


	4. Just A Plain Blue Sweater

**A/N~ Jacob Black in this story is OCC. He is not a werewolf, not from La Push....essentially a whole new character. *please don't hurt me!***

Chapter Four~ Just A Plain Blue Sweater

_Remember me when you're out walking  
When the snow falls high outside your door  
Late at night when you're not sleeping  
And moonlight falls across your floor  
When I can't hurt you anymore_

BPOV

"Bella what are you up to tonight?"

"Umm…" Truthfully I was doing nothing at all tonight, probably my same old routine of homework and crying myself to sleep, but I wasn't going to tell Jenna that. Jenna was one of the only people I had ever really gotten along with when I had lived in Phoenix before I moved to Forks, and in the time I was gone she had changed rather drastically. Her new thing was parties. Every night there was some party she was trying to drag me to. "I'm not really sure what I'm doing tonight, maybe some stuff around the house."

"Stuff around the house? Bella! It's Friday night and you have yet to go to a party since you've been here! Please Bella, I'm begging you to come with me! I promise it'll be fun." She grabbed my shoulders and gave me her best pouty face. It would be kind of nice to get out of the house. Renee and Phil had been gone awhile now and the house was hauntingly empty. It was a love-hate relationship having the house all to myself. On one side, I could keep to myself and not have to keep on the happy face I kept at school…on the other side; all I could think about was Edward.

His eyes seem to stare at me from every corner of the house. Every creak of the house sounded like his name. Whenever there was breeze, I swear I could feel his arms around me and his voice whispering my name.

I needed to get out of the house.

"Sure. I'll go."

"Yay!!! I'll swing by your house around nine!"

****

Finishing up my homework I sat back in my chair and looked around my bedroom. Even after I had unpacked my suitcase the room still looked empty. I hadn't touched any of my old stuff and I could see the dust gathering on them, my books sat in the corner of the room…untouched since I had unpacked them weeks ago. Getting out of my chair I made my way towards my closet to pick out an outfit for tonight. I stopped dead in my tracks as something caught my eyes in my mirror. His eyes. Golden and shining. When I looked again they were gone. I searched the mirror a few more minutes before letting out a sigh and turning towards the closet.

I wish Alice was here. Most of these clothes she had picked out herself but I hadn't the first idea how to put it all together to look good. I started flipping through the shirts when I got to the blue blouse Edward had loved so much. I could feel hot tears welling up in my eyes as I tore it off the hanger and threw it into the discarded suitcase at the bottom of my closet. There was another shirt in the suitcase…just a plain blue sweater. His sweater. Kneeling down I took it in my hands and breathed it in deeply.

"_Bella. I'll be right back, Carlisle needs me." He softly kissed me before turning and leaving the room. _

_I walked around his room trying to take in every inch of it. His closet door was open and I noticed that blue sweater he wore that I loved so much. I took it my hands and brought it up to my face to smell it. _

"_Looking for something?" He shot me a crooked grin as I felt myself blush at being caught red-handed._

"_I like the way it smells. It smells like you." _

_He was at my side in an instant gently wrapping me in his arms while he trailed kisses along my neck. He brought his lips up to my ears and whispered, "Then it's yours."_

I could still smell him in the sweater. Curling into a ball on the floor I clutched the sweater as tight as I could and threaten to strangle myself trying to soak up the smell.

What seemed like hours later I pulled myself up off the floor and tucked the sweater safely back in the suitcase. I threw off my t-shirt and sweatpants and grabbed the first shirt and jeans I saw and pulled them on. Jenna would be here soon. Walking past the mirror again I noticed the tear streaks running down my face and I made my way to the bathroom to clean up.

A few minutes later I heard Jenna's car honking in the driveway and grabbing my bag I rushed out, locking the door behind me.

"You look cute." She commented as I climbed in the front seat.

"Thanks." I glanced down at my shirt and was surprised I had actually picked out a cute outfit in my haste.

Jenna moved on to talking about the new guy she was crushing on until she picked up that I wasn't really paying attention.

"Bella? Are you listening? He asked me if he could borrow a pencil, that's a good sign right?"

"Um, I don't know…maybe."

"What about you? Were there any guys back in Forks you crushed on?"

Oh god. I couldn't find my breath to answer her. As soon as she had asked his face flashed in my mind and I could feel the car squeezing in one me."

"Bella?"

"Um, sorry. Um…yea, yea…there was this one guy who liked me…Mike. His name was Mike."

I couldn't talk about Edward. The idea of saying his name out loud threatened to crush me.

"Oooo Mike huh? Anything ever happen?"

"No. He dated someone else."

"Well that sucks. We're here!"

Thank God the conversation was over.

We walked in the front door and immediately I was bombarded with music blaring in my ears and people packed in every corner of the room.

No chance of hearing whispers of Edward here.

"Bella this is Jacob, he just moved here not too long ago."

"Hey!" He shook my hand as he yelled out his greeting above the music.

"Hey!" I yelled back. "Nice to meet you."

"Back at you, would you like a drink?" He led me to the kitchen, showing me an array of drinks to choose from; ranging anywhere from tequila to beer. Jenna promptly reached for shot glasses and looked at me expectantly. I glanced around the room once and looked back at the bottles in front of me. All the country songs I've heard about drinking to forget a love lost rushed to my mind and grinning at this new found discovery I pointed at the tequila.

Maybe there would be a way to push Edward out of my mind after all.


	5. So Quiet, So Eerie

Chapter Five~ So Quiet, So Eerie

Numerous shots and a lime later I stared down into the toilet bowl with someone pressing a cold rag on my forehead while holding back my hair.

Groaning I tried to lean back but the world started spinning as soon as I moved my head and I slumped back to lean up against the toilet.

"I don't think she's ever drank before."

"Jesus Jenna! Why did you let her take so many shots then?"

"She was having fun…it was the first time I've seen her smile she's been back in Phoenix."

"Well, she's not smiling now."

I tried vaguely to identify the voices I heard but gave up quickly. Someone whispered something to me pressing a bottle to my lips.

"Nooo…no more." I weakly protested trying to shove the bottle away.

"Bella, its just water. You need to drink some. You'll feel better." The bottle was pressed to my lips again and I tried to swallow it but felt most of it trickle down my chin. Groaning I leaned on the person holding me up. The room wouldn't stop spinning and I felt the walls of the bathroom closing in on me. I groaned again as the bottle was brought back to my lips and I swallowed it a little bit better this time.

"Jenna, she needs to go home."

"What? Jacob, she's fine. Just let her lay down or something. Besides Rick is here and you know I like Rick."

"Jesus Christ you're some friend."

"Jacob!"

"Where does she live? I'll take her home."

"You don't mind? Wait you can't drive…"

"I'm not an idiot…it can't be far…we'll just walk."

"Good luck."

I felt myself being lifted off the floor and felt the cool rag on my forehead again.

"Edward…"

"Bella, I'm gonna take you home ok?"

I simply sighed and felt the cold night air as I was carried outside. The coldness sent shivers up my spine and seemed to bring me back to life as I looked up to see who was carrying me.

"Jacob?"

"Yea, I'm just taking you home okay…how are you feeling?"

"I can walk."

"Are you sure?" His eyes met mine and I could feel his gaze boring into me. Nodding I began to feel for the ground as he put me down. As soon as I stood up straight the street began to twirl and I grabbed unto his shirt to balance myself.

"I've got it. Just give me a minute." He placed an arm around my waist as I tried to steady myself and take in the street lights.

"Take deep breaths."

"Huh?"

"You're barely breathing Bella. Take deep breaths. It'll help."

Inhaling and exhaling I started to get a hold on my surroundings and let him know I was good to keep on walking. Focusing on the sidewalk in front of me desperately trying to keep myself on my own two feet, I tried to keep up with the conversation. He kept asking me questions while we walked but it turned out that focusing on his words and walking was near impossible. Eventually the questions died away and turned into him just talking. I felt like we had been walking forever when something caught my eye. Yellow caution tape.

The ballet studio.

I stopped abruptly and stood staring the heap that used to be the studio before the Cullen's burnt it to the ground.

"Bella? Do you feel sick again?" Jacob put his arm back around me and stared me in the face looking for an answer.

"I'm fine." Like a zombie I walked away from him making my way closer to the caution tape. It was so quiet, so eerie. I pulled the tape over my head and ducked under and began walking through the rubble. A piece of burnt wood caught my feet and I fell forward barely catching myself with my hands.

"Bella?"

I felt something warm running down my hand and looking down I saw blood running down my hand and onto my wrist.

_I heard, as if from underwater, the final growl of the hunter. I could see, through the long tunnels my eyes had become, his dark shape coming toward me. With my last effort, my hand instinctively raised to protect my face._

"_Bella! No Bella, please…"_

_My angel…_

"Bella!" I felt arms wrap around me and try to pull me to my feet but I shoved them off and stared back at my hand watching the blood run across the crescent shaped scar James had left. I could feel myself getting woozy from the blood but I ran my finger across the scar anyway.

_Edward's face was drawn. I watched his eyes as the doubt was suddenly replaced with a blazing determination._

"_Stay, Edward, stay with me…"_

"_I will."_

My angel.

I heard myself whimper as his face flooded my mind.

"Bella. You're really pale…" Jacob grabbed me again and refused to let me go as he pulled me to my feet. "We need to get you home before you pass out."

I nodded as he led me through the rubble and back under the caution tape.

Heading down the street I turned around to glance back at the remains of the ballet studio…

And then I saw it.

A flash of orange hair.

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned fully around to look again. Where did it go?

"Come on Bella."

Looking again and seeing nothing I turned back towards home.

***

VPOV

There was a slight breeze in the air as I watched the ashes roll lazily in the wind. Squatting down I gently ran my hand across the ground feeling every small vibration of movement. I dug my hands into the dirt and scooped up a handful mixed with ashes bringing them eye level. Examining every detail I closed my hand and clutched it to my chest before letting the ashes drop and scatter amidst the ground.

"_I don't see why you're making such a big deal over this human girl James. You saw how protective they were over it…it's not worth it…just let it be and we'll hunt somewhere else."_

"_Ahh but Victoria that's just it…this human is important to them. They care for it. I want to play with this a little bit…toy with them and see what happens. Think of how much fun it'll be. Seeing them all get in a frenzy over some human." I could see the fire blazing in his eyes and immediately he had convinced me. I could never deny my James…and besides, it would be fun. _

"_Fine, but do it right. Make them think she's safe and hidden. It'll be much more fun that way."_

_He pulled me to him and lavishly began kissing me down my neck before coming back up to my lips then moving to my ear, "This is why I love you so much… so clever…"_

_Aggressively returning his kisses another thought came to me. _

"_Videotape it." He pulled away and looked at me._

"_What?"_

"_Get the girl alone. Torture her before you go in for the kill…but videotape the whole thing. It'll drive Edward insane. Think of how enraged he'll be…"_

_Returning his lips back to their proper place on my neck he chuckled and licked up to my jaw line._

"_He'll be sure to come after me. He'll want revenge…it'll be glorious tearing him apart. And then the small one…"_

"_The small one?"_

"_Yes…she's the one who got away all those years ago. I can finally take my revenge and tear apart the whole coven."_

_His words sent pleasure up and down my spine at the very thought._

I went into hiding immediately after I found out I had lost James. I didn't move for months. I just sat there replaying ever word he had ever said to me, every feature of his face becoming permanently etched into my mind.

I would find a way to avenge this. I would finish what James had started.

Walking through the rubble of the ballet studio, I searched for something, anything at all that had been a piece of him. I knew it was hopeless but it didn't stop me from searching…a scrap of his jacket…maybe even the remains of the video recorder…the Cullen coven had probably taken that though.

Toeing my way through the debris I absentmindedly sniffed the air around me. Not many humans were out tonight, it would make hunting more fun cornering someone alone in a dark alley. Sniffing again, my throat burned with rage when I recognized the scent.

The girl. Bella. I retreated into the shadows and squatted and listened the footsteps approach and then suddenly stop. What was she doing here?

"Bella? Do you feel sick again?" I heard the human with her question. Sniffing I caught the smell of alcohol in the air.

"I'm fine." She came into view ducking under the tape and I watched as she fell face forward slicing her hand. I let out a low hiss as the smell hit me and set my throat on fire. I gripped the ground to steady myself from attacking.

Not yet.

Watching the boy try to help her up I noticed her fingering a shape on her wrist. Focusing on the pattern I saw a crescent shape scar.

Had he? Had James gotten that close? It was the only explanation. But how is she still human?

She whimpered as the boy helped her up. It would be so easy to take them both right now but…where were the others? If she was here surely the coven would be close by…but no, I would've known. I would've picked up their scent. I needed to find out…I would have her soon enough, that was sure.

Emerging from my hiding place I looked towards the girl as the boy held her up walking her away in the opposite direction. Her head turned to look back and I quickly whipped around and took off down the street.


	6. Help With the Hangover

Chapter Six~ Help With the Hangover

_You know I don't remember a thing  
But they say I sure was raising some cain  
I was a rock star, party hard,  
Getting over you comeback kid  
Yeah I must have did  
What all my friends say  
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah_

BPOV

_Orange hair. It fluttered in the wind as her head turned and she looked at me…her eyes were blazing red.. Slowly licking drops of crimson blood off of her lips, the corners turned upwards into a mischievous grin. _

"_Hello Bella." _

_There was a loud knocking noise coming from the sky, looking upward for the source I felt cold hands grip my neck. The knocking noise became louder and louder as Victoria's fingers tightened around my neck._

"Bella!"

Snapping my eyes open, the room began spinning as a loud banging filled my ears.

"Bella! It's me…Jacob!"

Jacob. Jacob? Why did that name sound so familiar? The banging became louder and my head threatened to explode.

"Stop banging!" The noise immediately ceased and I closed my eyes again trying to remember who Jacob was. Oh! Jacob! From last night…oh god, last night. Groaning I tried to pull the sheets off of me when I realized I wasn't in my bedroom but was instead on the couch in my living room still fully clothed.

"Bella?"

"I'm coming!" Making an attempt to get up from the couch I managed to instead roll off and crash onto the floor making my head spin even more.

"You okay in there?"

"I'm fine! Be there in a sec!" Scrambling up, and stumbling my way to the front door, I opened it and a white light immediately rendered me blind. I raised my arm to shield it but had already stumbled backwards and felt a warm hand grab my arm to rebalance me.

"Good morning," he managed through a chuckle, "I thought you might need some breakfast after last night."

"Oh. Um, thanks…but you know you really didn't have to do that."

"Judging by your looks…I pretty much did."

Did he just insult me?

"My looks?"

Flashing a smile he closed the front door and made his way to the kitchen ignoring my question. I rushed to the bathroom to look in the mirror, I was appalling.

My hair looked like a bird's nest, matted and sticking up on one side and my eyes were red and puffy with dark circles around them. I looked like something out of a horror movie.

"Um, Jacob?"

"Yea?" He called from the kitchen.

"I'm gonna freshen up real quick."

His laughter echoed throughout the house from the kitchen in response. It sent chills down my spine…I hadn't heard laughter in the house in so long. It was kind of nice.

A few minutes later I had changed into a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt and had managed to tame my hair. My eyes and headache on the other hand seemed to have a mind of their own. What was I thinking last night? I've never drank before. All I could remember was taking _maybe_ two shots and everything else was pretty much a blur. And then there was that dream.

I had never dreamed about Victoria before. Where did that come from? Maybe it was the drinking. Shivering at the memory I made my way to the kitchen. Jacob was placing some toast and a banana on a plate and working on making some coffee. I felt a little resentment at the fact that he was completely awake and didn't have big puffy eyes.

"Jacob, again…you really didn't have to do this. I mean, you don't even know me."

"It's not much and to be honest with you, I feel a little guilty about last night and I thought the least I could do was bring over something to help with the hangover. Could you show me how to work this coffee pot?"

Walking over and turning on the coffee pot I waited for it to begin dripping before I responded.

"What do you feel guilty for?"

"Sit down. How are you feeling? Headache?" He guided me to the kitchen table and placed the plate of toast and bananas in front of me with a glass of water and then sat down across from me.

"Headache. Bad bad headache. But you didn't answer my question."

"Drink the water and eat. It'll help." Waiting for me to drink and take a bite of the toast he continued, "Well, I felt guilty because for one thing I didn't know you had never drank before. I would have stopped you after the second shot if I had known."

"I took more than two?"

"Way more than two," he laughed, "and you handled them like a pro…at first. And then I felt bad because you came with Jenna…and she was a bit too pre-occupied with some guy to take you home when you got sick. And I'm thinking that walking home at night with some guy you just met while you're sick wasn't the most comfortable situation."

"Actually I don't remember any of that." He grinned and nodded his head.

"Yea, I thought that might happen. How is your hand by the way?"

"My hand?" Looking down at my hands I saw one of them wrapped heavily in gauze and for the first time I noticed that it was tingling slightly. "What happened…?"

"You fell, well tripped I guess. I thought you were going crazy or something…but you know that place that is burnt down? I think it was a ballet studio or something…anyways we walked by it and you just went under the caution tape and started walking…then you tripped. So then I followed you to help you up and you wouldn't let me at first. Kept repeating something about an Edward staying with you? It was weird…but then again, drunk people do some pretty weird things."

Tears were welling up in my eyes as my stomach twisted and turned, clutching myself I tired to hold my body together. _Something about an Edward staying with you…_

"Bella? You're shaking…drink some more water. I'm gonna check on the coffee. Anyways, I think the combination of tequila and blood pushed you over the edge cause not long after you fell down you passed out so I carried you the rest of the way. Here's your coffee. Sugar? Cream?"

Pulling myself away from the gold eyes that were swimming in my mind, I took the coffee cup from Jacob and nodded yes to both. "When we got here I didn't feel right looking for your bedroom so I put you on the couch and looked in the bathroom for some gauze for your arm."

"I'm sorry you had to carry me home…I uh…I've never done anything like that before. I'm really sorry…"

"Bella, don't worry about it! To tell you the truth you were the best part about the party anyway and it wasn't a big deal to walk you home."

"But you had to _carry_ me…"

"You weigh like five pounds…I barely noticed. Eat your banana."

Chewing on the banana for a few minutes I watched Jacob as he fixed his coffee. This was weird. Or maybe it was normal for him to show up at a girl's house after a party and bring them toast.

"Do you do this a lot?" He sat back down across from me with a puzzled expression on his face.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you just show up at girls' houses the morning after they drank a lot and fix them breakfast?" His eyes widened and he quickly jumped up from his seat.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable…I just…Oh god I'm sorry…I guess I wasn't thinking…"

"No, no Jacob don't go! I didn't mean it like that…I just, uh, it's surprising that's all…don't go. It's kinda nice not to be alone…I think about too much when I'm alone." Jacob stared at me for a second and then he sat back down again and gave me a small sheepish smile.

"I don't _ever _do this. I just…you were…interesting…to talk to last night. I wanted an excuse to talk to you again."

My cheeks burned with a mixture of surprise and embarrassment. There's no telling how _interesting_ I was last night.

"Interesting huh?"

He chuckled again, "Yea. Interesting." His face lit up with a huge smile as he related to me all my adventures of last night. Apparently I was quite a dancer.

**************

APOV

"Emmett, leave him alone. We're all better off without …

"Without what Rosalie? Without Bella? Really? Look around you! Jasper's is so immersed with guilt he can barely function and our emotions aren't necessarily helping the situation. I've never seen Carlisle and Esme so worried about us, about our family. And if I have to look into Alice's eyes and see how upset she is one more time I'm gonna lose it!" He turned to look at me briefly before turning back to Rosalie. "It's time he has some sense knocked into him."

He stormed down the hallway not even pausing to open Edward's door, opting to tear it off instead.

"Edward."

I peered around Emmett to look at my brother. He stood in the middle of the room staring at nothing, just looking forward. He just stood there holding unto one of Bella's shirt he had taken from her room long ago. His hands caressed the fabric over and over again as if it was made out of glass. There was a pattern of holes where his hands had run over it so much it had worn through.

"Edward!" Emmett roared again. When Edward didn't acknowledge our presence he strode over and grabbed him by the shoulders forcing his face to meet his.

"What are you doing Edward? You think staying in here forever is going to fix anything? Just standing here holding her shirt? You're just going to let Bella walk out of your life?"

Edward didn't respond, his black eyes staring aimlessly forward.

"Edward! Are you listening to me? She has never been scared of us before…why would she start now?" Emmett grabbed Bella's shirt out of Edward's hands and shoved it in his face. "Do you really want this to be only part of Bella you'll ever have?"

With that Edward snapped and threw Emmett off of him and into the wall.

"We almost killed her! She's scared of us!"

Rosalie and I had slowly made our way into the room and approached Edward and gently touched his shoulder.

"Edward she's not…"

"Alice! Stop lying to yourself! She's doing what will keep her safe! Why can't you all see that?" Walking away from me he took back Bella's shirt from Emmett and started to make his way to the window.

"She loves you Edward!" Emmett yelled "Don't just let something like that get away!"

Rosalie moved forward to her husband and stared intently into his eyes for a second then walked over to Edward.

"He's right Edward." He turned to her with an expression of shock on his face. "You know that I have my…opinions…of Bella." Edward narrowed his eyes," But that doesn't change what the two of you had…have. You were happy Edward. She was happy." She looked over at Emmett again and then locked eyes with Edward. "That is something worth fighting for. You two can make it work."

He stared at her for a few moments, most likely listening to her thoughts for the meaning behind her words. Shifting his gaze from her to Emmett an understanding flashed in his eyes. His eyes closed and he breathed in the scent on Bella's shirt.

"Even if I did go to her…it wouldn't change anything." He turned to face me again and his eyes were searching.

_What are you searching for? _

"It wouldn't change anything…right? She would still feel the same…Alice?"

Looking into my brother's eyes I felt my vision take over.

_Bella laughing while Edward held her in his arms. Bella reaching her arm up to run her hands through his hair. Edward kissing her sweetly on the lips. _

"_I'm so glad to have you back" Edward whispering to her and Bella sighing happily before nuzzling her head under his chin._

Breaking from the vision I looked at Edward…his eyes were alight with hope and his mouth threatened to smile.

"Alice…"he breathed out before pulling me into a hug.

_Go get her Edward._

__

Hey Jude, don't be afraid.  
You were made to go out and get her.  
The minute you let her under your skin,  
Then you begin to make it better.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain,  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.  
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder.

_Hey Jude, don't let me down_

_You have found her, now go and get her_

_Remember to let her into your heart_

_Then you can start to make it better_


	7. One Tiny Phone Call

Chapter Seven~ One Tiny Phone Call

_You been messing where you shouldn't have been messing_

_And now someone else is getting all your best_

_Well these boots are made for walking_

_And that's just what they'll do_

_One of these days these boots are gonna walk over you_

VPOV

Toeing the meal at my feet lazily, I waited patiently for my phone call to be answered. The human had been way too easy to catch, hardly any fun at all. She was groaning in agony, clutching her shoulder blade where I had bitten her. This was one my favorite parts about hunting—watching a human slowly die as they begged and pleaded for mercy. I hardly ever drank them dry all at once, preferring to make it last as long as possible. James was never as patient as me. He'd always try to draw it out but would give in too soon. The girl's hands grabbed my leg in desperation and while kicking her away something around her neck caught my eye. Crouching down to further examine it, I couldn't help but laugh when I saw that it was a crucifix necklace.

Ripping it from her neck and slowly relishing the drops of blood that were splattered across it, I whispered in her ear, "This won't do you any good, dear."

I heard a click as my call had been answered and didn't wait for his greeting.

"Hello, Laurent." I sweetly whispered into the phone.

"Victoria." He sounded worried, scared even. A rush of pride flowed through me as I realized I had left a lasting impression on him.

"It has been too long, Laurent. The last time we spoke was the day we ran into the Cullen coven… do you remember?" I asked, allowing a low hiss to escape my lips.

"Yes, Victoria, I do." Ahhh, the fear was increasing.

"Practically abandoned James and me that night…James was furious with you, Laurent. There is no telling what he would have done to you if the Cullens hadn't killed him."

"Why are you calling?"

"I hear you're with the Denali coven now…is it true?"

No answer.

"Laurent, Laurent, Laurent—why so scared? We're just two friends catching up; I hold no hard feelings over what happened." He waited another moment before speaking.

"Yes. I am with the Denali coven. I am trying out their way of life."

"Animal blood? Now that can't be truly satisfying—how can you turn down the richness of human blood?" I questioned as I bent down towards my own treat, leisurely lapping up the blood that was trickling from her shoulder.

"It isn't satisfying." He let out a soft chuckle and I could tell he was easing into the conversation. "I cheat. Often." He chuckled again.

"I'm sure the Denali sisters don't approve of that." The girl shivered as I traced my fingers along her collarbone.

"Not at all. That is why I don't tell them. They just believe that the red in my eyes is just taking longer to change." My fingernails lightly scraped down the girl's jugular vein and she let out a feeble whimper. "Victoria? You're not playing with your food again are you?"

"You know how I like to have a little fun. Now tell me Laurent. The Denali coven is close with the Cullen coven…correct?"

My question was met with silence. "Laurent, I'm only curious. I came across the human girl recently. Alone. In Phoenix."

"Did you…"

"Kill her? Revenge James' death?" Filling the phone with my false laughter I continued, "No, Laurent, the girl still lives. I have no desire to kill her."

The girl in my hands immediately looked into my face as a flash of hope danced in her eyes. Purring into her ear I whispered, "Oh, I do have a desire to kill _you_, dear." I heard Laurent sigh on the other end. He never did enjoy my games. "Laurent, I'm only curious as to why the Cullen pet was so far from home and alone. You wouldn't deny me my innocent curiosity, would you?"

"Victoria, nothing about you is ever innocent."

"Tell me, Laurent."

"I do not know."

Liar.

"Do you really want to lie to me?" I growled into the phone, practically snapping on the last word. The girl's body shook violently underneath my grasp.

"I am not lying. I do not know anything about Bella."

"What a shame. I was really hoping you could help me. Perhaps Irina knows."

Silence. I had his attention now.

"You didn't think I didn't know about you and your new mate did you?"

Silence on the other end still. He was wrapped around my finger.

"I would hate for something to happen to her." Waiting for my sentence to sink in, I stood up, leaving the girl quivering on the ground while I propped my boot up on her chest. "Now tell me everything."

Sighing in defeat he said, "Last I heard, Bella had left Forks; apparently she became frightened by the Cullens."

"Frightened? She certainly wasn't frightened when we met her."

"Yes well, I've been told there was incident where one of the Cullens tried to attack her. And not long afterwards, she left."

"And none of the Cullens followed?"

"No. It is all the Denali sisters talk about. With Bella gone they all expected Edward to pursue Tanya."

"He would never pursue anyone other than that human girl. I saw it in his eyes when I first met him. He sees only her. He will love only her."

"And what makes you so sure?"

"Females know these things Laurent. Isn't that right, girl?" Looking down at the girl trembling underneath me, I pressed my boot down harder and her scream echoed around me. "See? Even my food agrees."

"You have what you wanted, Victoria. I expect you to leave my coven alone."

"Yes, yes, of course. You have been most helpful." Shutting the phone and placing it in my pocket, I thought back to when I had seen Bella earlier. I had distinctly heard her call out to Edward. Interesting. There is definitely more to the story.

A groan reached my ears and I looked back down at my prey.

"You have been very patient. Such good manners." Removing my foot from her chest I crouched back down and straddled her. "Ready dear?" The look of fear in her face was exhilarating. Clutching the back of her neck I brought her jugular vein to my lips and kissed it sweetly before I let my teeth sink in.

BPOV

I woke with a start and could feel the sweat dripping off my body and soaking through my sheets. Panting heavily, I closed my eyes, recalling the dream I had woken from.

_It was Edward. His eyes were tortured. It was as if I could see every ounce of pain that existed in the world inside his jet-black eyes. He was alone, lost, searching for something…searching for me. I watched him from afar and could hear his cries of agony reverberating throughout my soul. He needed me. I needed him. My heart willed my body to run to him but I couldn't move. I tried screaming out his name but my cry was silent. Edward continued to cry out my name over and over again, each syllable dripping in anguish. My heart yelled at my body to run to him, but it was useless. I was trapped. My body would not listen to me as I hopelessly tried to escape. I watched in horror as my body slowly turned away from Edward and walked the other way. His groans filled my ears as I disappeared into darkness._

Wrapping my arms around my body I rocked back and forth trying to forget the dream but all I could see were his eyes and I all I could hear was his voice, groaning in agony.

I longed to see him, to speak to him, to touch him, to know what he was doing. Was he in pain like I was? Was he hurting?

Peeling the sticky sheets off of me and rolling out of bed, I prayed that Edward wasn't suffering. He had lived over 100 years without me; it would be crazy to think that being separated was as hard on him as it was on me. God, I hoped it wasn't. I want him to be happy. He's happy. He has to be happy. Otherwise, it would all be for nothing. There was no point in me leaving for his own sake if he was suffering anywhere near to what I felt every moment of every day.

Turning on the shower and sticking my hand in to test the temperature, another thought occurred to me.

What if he was happy? What would that mean? Was it easy for him to forget about me—the human—and move on?

Pushing that train of thought out of my head, I stepped in the shower and began washing my hair.

God, I wanted to know how he was doing. What if I called Alice? Just to check up on him…nothing more. Would that undo everything? When I left Forks, I honestly thought I would never make it a week apart from Edward. Either my resolve would shatter and I would go running back to him or Edward would come and knock some sense into me and bring me back home. I even contemplated that perhaps Alice would come and kidnap me within that first week.

But here I was, almost a month later, and no contact at all. Just like I had told them I wanted.

"_It's too dangerous."_ Isn't that what I told Edward? Hadn't I accused them all of trying to kill me? Didn't I scream at my best friend about how scared I was of them? Of course they wouldn't have contacted me.

Stepping out the shower, I wrapped a towel around myself and made my way to the closet. Thumbing through all the clothes Alice had given me, I remembered the note she had left me in my luggage.

She already knew I was lying. It couldn't hurt to call _her_ …could it?

I felt myself moving towards the phone.

Just one tiny phone call. Just to say hello—ask her how she is …how Edward is.

I could force her to promise not to tell Edward I called.

My hand slowly picked up the phone.

But what if she did tell Edward I called—it would undo _everything_. Biting my lip, I struggled inwardly, drumming my fingers over the keys.

What if I _wanted_ everything to be undone? To have Edward wrap his arms around me again, to kiss his sweet lips …I shivered in pleasure at the thought.

Then I remembered his face after my birthday party. His face when he attacked Jasper to save me. The blank stare he wore on the ride home. The expressions of anguish that covered each feature I loved so dearly.

No. I couldn't call Alice.

Sighing, I went to put the phone back on my desk when it began buzzing in my hand.

_So come on, get higher, loosen my lips Faith and desire and the swing of your hips Just pull me down hard And drown me in love_

_I miss the sound of your voice Loudest thing in my head And I ache to remember  
All the violent, sweet  
Perfect words that you said_


	8. Playing Sinatra

Chapter Eight~ Playing Sinatra

_Previously…._

What if I _wanted_ everything to be undone? To have Edward wrap his arms around me again, to kiss his sweet lips …I shivered in pleasure at the thought.

Then I remembered his face after my birthday party. His face when he attacked Jasper to save me. The blank stare he wore on the ride home. The expressions of anguish that covered each feature I loved so dearly.

No. I couldn't call Alice.

Sighing, I went to put the phone back on my desk when it began buzzing in my hand.

BPOV

Seeing the name flash across the phone's screen, I answered.

"Bella? Hey, good morning! Is it too early? I hope I didn't wake you. I could call back later. I mean…I just wanted to…"

"Jacob," I chuckled, "it's fine. I was awake." Moving to sit on my bed, I realized I was still wrapped in my towel and blushed at the mere thought of talking to Jacob with nothing on but a towel. "Can you hold on a minute?"

"Sure! Of course!"

Putting down the phone, I quickly grabbed a pair of sweat pants, a t-shirt, and my hairbrush. Moving to jump back on the bed, I stubbed my toe on my desk chair and came crashing down onto the floor, bringing the chair with me. Sighing in frustration and grabbing my throbbing toe, I took a deep breath before I reached up behind me and felt for the phone on top of the bed. Finally locating it, I brought it to my ear and could hear Jacob laughing quietly on the other end.

"What's so funny?"

"You fell down or something, didn't you?" Yup—he'd heard. When I didn't answer, he continued, "I never met someone as clumsy as you. At the party, I thought it was just the alcohol… apparently it's you."

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Feeling myself blush in embarrassment, I decided to change the subject. "So, what's up? Why did you call?"

His laughing quickly died and I heard him take in a deep breath.

"Um…well…I was actually…wondering…I mean, if you aren't doing anything…ifyouwantedtogotothemovieswithmetonight." That was the fastest I had ever heard him talk, and that was saying something because he usually talked a mile a minute.

"I didn't quite catch that."

"Um. The movies? Tonight? With me?"

I froze. Was he asking me out on a date? I could feel my heart pounding against my chest in distress. No. No. Why would he think that? Edward. I belong to Edward.

As if on cue, his eyes flashed before me again, but instead of topaz they were black as night and overflowing with grief. I began to shake and clutched my chest as his face swam in front of me. His perfect lips began to open.

"Bella?" The velvet voice of my memories mixed with the husky voice in my ear.

"Um, if you don't want to, that's cool too." Edward's face disappeared and my bedroom came back into view. I gasped for the air I had been depriving myself.

"Jacob?" I hoped he hadn't heard my world collapsing around me.

"Yeah?"

"Um…I don't date, Jacob. It's not you…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. 'It's not you, it's me.' But Bella, I didn't mean it as a date—I meant going to the movies as friends."

"Oh." Oh wow. The blush was coming profusely now. That was embarrassing.

"I thought you could use a friend… besides Jenna. No offense, but Jenna is sort of a crappy friend. Anyways, you always seem down—this weekend was the first time I've ever seen you smile. I thought I might be able to help a little bit."

"What do you mean, this weekend was the first time you've seen me smile? I just met you this weekend."

"Bella, we go to the same school."

"What?"

"Yeah, we even have English together. We've never talked before, but I knew who you were before this weekend."

"I'm pretty sure I would have recognized you. Are you positive I'm in your class?"

"No offense or anything, but you're a bit zombie-like at school. It's like you have no idea what's going on around you. You just…seem...sad. All the time."

I knew that I was sad—well, more than just sad; I was miserable, depressed, and hopelessly heartbroken. But I thought I hid it well. I smiled. At least I think I did... And I talked to people…right? I talked to Jenna… I must have talked to other people.

No. Now that I thought about it, Jenna had approached me. She started talking to me. And it was mostly her doing all the talking. I hadn't talked to anyone else.

Glancing toward the mirror on the opposite wall, I looked at my reflection. Did everyone else see what I saw when I looked in the mirror? A doleful little girl who was barely hanging on?

"Bella? Are you still there?"

No.

"I'm here. I guess I've just been in a funk lately." The kind that tears your soul out. The girl in the mirror continued to stare back at me with lifeless eyes.

"So go to the movies with me, maybe it will cheer you up! I'll even go see something girly… chick-flick, whatever. It's your choice."

"No chick-flicks. You pick. Something with…," no romance, "… action? Lots of action. Maybe something funny too?"

"Tropic Thunder?" That sounded safe. Sounded manly. Not romantic at all.

"Perfect."

"Well, you wanna just walk to the theatre? It's not that far from your house. I'll swing by around eight. Does that work?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"See you then. Bye Bella!"

"Bye Jacob."

Standing up, I walked towards my mirror and lightly reached out to touch the glass. Ignoring the morose girl in front of me, I pressed my face up against the glass. Immediately it sent shivers down my spine as I leaned my cheek further onto the cool surface.

_"Be very still," he whispered._

_Slowly, never moving his eyes from mine, he leaned toward me. Then abruptly, but very gently, he rested his cold cheek against the hollow at the base of my throat. I was quite unable to move, even if I'd wanted to. I listened to the sound of his even breathing, watching the sun and wind play in his bronze hair, more human than any other part of him. With deliberate slowness, his hands slid down the sides of my neck. I shivered, and I heard him catch his breath. But his hands didn't pause as they softly moved to my shoulders, then stopped. His face drifted to the side, his nose skimming across my collarbone. He came to rest with the side of his face pressed tenderly against my chest. Listening to my heart._

_"Ah," he sighed._

Sliding down the full-length mirror, I slumped on the floor and turned my head to where only my forehead was touching the glass.

_"Don't move," I whispered._

_I moved even more slowly than he had, careful not to make one unexpected move. I caressed his cheek, delicately stroked his eyelid, the purple shadow in the hollow under his eye. I traced the shape of his perfect nose, and then, so carefully, his flawless lips. _

Opening my eyes I found my fingertips lightly tracing the patterns of his face onto the glass. I grimaced at my reflection in disgust. I quickly stood up and began tugging on the mirror, trying to rip it off the wall. I knew there was probably an easier way to take down the mirror, but the sensation of physically being able to express my repulsion towards myself, my own reflection, was incredibly satisfying.

With one final tug, the mirror came crashing off the wall, sending me stumbling backwards with the loss of leverage. Managing to maintain a grip on the mirror, I was miraculously able to keep it from breaking all over me. After sliding the mirror underneath my bed, I hopped up and turned on the radio; it was playing Sinatra, _As Time Goes By_. Falling back on my bed, I closed my eyes and listened.

…_It's still the same old story  
A fight for love and glory  
A case of do or die  
The world will always welcome lovers  
As time goes by…_

I turned the radio off.

EPOV

I knew I could reach Phoenix before midnight. After I had seen Alice's vision, I decided that driving would get me to Bella faster. I didn't want to chance any delays if I flew to Phoenix. I knew it had taken less than a day for Alice and Jasper to drive Bella to Phoenix before.

Once I had started driving, I was glad for the decision; the empty hours gave me a chance to think and plan out what I was going to say to Bella. Though after hours of driving, I still had no idea what to say.

Sighing, I played around with the radio, trying to ease my mind, and finally settled on a station that was playing Sinatra.

_  
…No matter what the future brings  
As time goes by…_

The sun was shining down hard now, and I was thankful that Alice had reminded me to take the Mercedes because of the tinted windows. She had been thinking absentmindedly about Bella when she had told me, about their road trip to Phoenix. Now I could still picture Bella's tear-streaked face as she rested in Alice's arms while Jasper sped down the very road I was on now.

I remembered saying goodbye to Bella that day.

_"Let's go." Carlisle said to me as he began to walk out. It was time. I knew, at some point, Bella and I were going to have to be separated to keep her safe—out of James' grasp._

_Reaching Bella's side, I pulled her as tight to me as I could without breaking her, and savored the electricity between us. Caressing her cheek, I tilted her gorgeous face up and brought her lips to mine. The blood rushed to her lips, and I memorized every second. I wanted to hold her like this forever, but with every passing second she was in more and more danger. Reluctantly setting her back on her feet, I continued tocradle her face in my hands. I stared intently into her eyes, memorizing every shade of brown as they sparkled in the light. _

With Bella's eyes dancing in my memory, I pressed my foot down harder on the gas pedal and smiled to myself. knowing that I would be with her again soon.

…_Woman needs man - and man must have his mate  
That, no one can deny…_

We would be together again—Edward and Bella, Bella and Edward… the lion and the lamb.

…_It's still the same old story,  
A fight for love and glory,  
A case of do or die,  
The world will always welcome lovers,  
As time goes by…_


	9. The Love of Her Life

Chapter 9~ The Love of Her Life

VPOV

I hated Phoenix. As a nomad, I usually never had to worry about avoiding the sunlight, but being stuck in this city forced me to lurk in the shadows all day.

I had stolen several items of clothing from a local shop before dawn broke—a long black trench coat, oversized sunglasses, and a wide brim black hat to cast a shadow over my face. I had also grabbed a pair of thigh high boots that I thought were a particularly nice touch to my outfit. Checking myself out in the mirror, I smiled…James was always fond of boots.

"_Victoria…you look…you look so…" He was sitting in the chair watching me walk towards him; I was showing off my new boots I had stolen from my lunch earlier._

"_What, James? I look so…what?" _

"_Bad."_

"_Bad? That's the best you can come up with?" Placing my legs on either side of the chair, I tilted his head upwards to look at me. "Bad?"_

_He grinned mischievously, "Sinful. You look sinful."_

"_Oh really?" I whispered, sitting down so I was fully straddling him. He brought me closer and began to ravish my neck._

"_And ruthless." Nibbling his ear, I urged him to continue as he tore off my shirt. _

"_Merciless, Victoria. You look merciless." I moaned and went to unzip the boots. "No. The boots stay on."_

Wiping an invisible tear from my cheek, I looked myself up and down again. Yes. This outfit would do.

After my phone call with Laurent, I had decided that the best plan was to wait. I was beyond curious as to why the girl had really left Forks; I had no doubt that there was something more to it than fear of the Cullens. Why would she leave them? I wished I could allow myself to kill her now. I could be at her house instantly. Watching her eyes fill up with fear as I approached her—hearing her call out for help as I slowly sucked her dry. Damn James. I was never a curious creature until I met him. He always wanted to know _why…why _this and_ why _that?

I needed to know _why. Why_ was the Cullen's pet here? Alone? _Why?_

I would wait to attack—wait to gather all the details, and the best way to figure out those details would be from the human girl herself. I would watch her every move till I discovered the secret.

Turning from my reflection, I left the store and embraced the sunlight.

Now that I no longer needed to stay in shadows during the day, I found the city to be quite amusing. Humans were quite the pathetic bunch. Walking from the shop to the house of the Cullen's little pet would take no time at all, however the appeal of watching the humans on the streets react to me was enchanting, I couldn't resist.

I watched humans squirm as I approached them. Their heartbeats racing dangerously fast as they would slowly back away. But their eyes—their eyes would be filled with wonderment and fear. It was a captivating combination…I could see the struggle in their eyes—"_Danger! Run!"_ would be contrasted with "_She's so beautiful…just a little bit closer."_ Human boys would be filled to the brim with lust; the smell of their arousal would pervade my nostrils and cause my throat to tingle in delight. The admiration and envy cascading off the human girls was especially enticing.

I fantasized about seducing one of the humans. Dazzling it with a bat of my eyes, a flip of my hair, a slow biting of my bottom lip. It would follow me without hesitation…perhaps wondering why it felt so afraid of such an inviting woman. The blood would pump furiously throughout the body, begging for release.

The burning in my throat increased painfully and I quickly brought my focus back to the task at hand.

Wait. Wait for the answers to my questions.

I spent the day within close range of her house, listening to her every move and every word she uttered. She cried a lot—it was repulsing. As night fell, the human boy I had seen her with before, arrived and went to her door. Interesting. Edward's beloved mate seemed to be spending a lot of time with this boy. Could it be true? Could she have really left because of fear? Did she no longer love the Cullen?

I could sense the boy's nervousness as he waited for her to answer the door. When the crybaby finally stepped outside the house he embraced her in hug, which she returned. However, her muscles had tensed up and her breathing was very controlled--the hug was not appreciated. She was still Edward's mate after all.

I followed them to a movie theater—I, however, did not go in. Being in close quarters with so many humans would be too delicious a temptation, and I couldn't risk foiling my plan.

I was waiting patiently outside the theater, eyeing a young couple making out in the shadows of the street. Their hands desperately grabbing at each other as if they knew there was a predator lurking in the shadows, as if they knew they only had seconds. Young blood caught up in a moment of lust would be delightfully sweet. The girl pressed her body closer to the boy's as they continued to devour each other. The boy eagerly slid his hands down her body while he greedily kissed her neck. His lips were mere centimeters away from her jugular vein; venom instantly filled my mouth as my thoughts were growing more and more lustful with each heartbeat and rush of blood coming from the two humans. With each passing moment their arousal grew stronger causing my throat to burn with desire, and instinctively I began walking towards the couple. Their lives were saved when another scent wafted in the air… She was out of the theatre. Turning, I watched the spoilsport emerge from the theatre with the boy.

Their pathetic laughter rang in the air and annoyed me to no end. It would be so easy to kill her now; I could have her and the boy - an extra treat on the side. But where would the revenge be in that? It would be too quick, too impulsive…too easy.

Following them down the streets, I noticed the boy place his hand on Bella's back. She recoiled from the touch. That was the second time he had touched her tonight—both times she had reacted negatively. Clearly, she still loved Edward. And clearly the dumb human boy did not know when to give up. No, little crybaby Bella was still desperately in love with her vampire—which would prove for a very sweet revenge.

"Sorry, Jacob, um…," she stumbled over the words and the boy quickly put his hands back in his pockets.

"Bella, it's fine. I didn't mean to startle you." Bella's heartbeat returned to normal, but her breathing was measured. I recognized this emotion. Awkwardness. Both the humans were swimming in it. "I see your cut is better."

"Yeah. Thanks again for taking care of me the other night." She was rubbing her hand as she spoke. I focused again on the mark my James had left on her, and heard my self growl quietly.

"Can I ask you a question, Bella?"

"Of course."

"What happened? You told me you don't date, but obviously there is more to it than simply not wanting to date." Her breathing hitched as her heart fluttered frantically in her chest. If my own heart could beat, it would be doing the same. This was what I had been waiting for.

"Um, I just…I just had a…a bad breakup, I guess." _Come, dear Bella, tell us more._

"Bad breakup, huh? I've had a few of those. Maybe I could help." Bella stopped walking and turned to face him. She let out a quiet laugh.

"I honestly don't think you could." She laughed again, this time I bit more to herself, and continued walking. The boy stared at her for a minute, and then jogged to catch up.

"Well, that wasn't the response I was expecting. I offer to help you and you laugh at me."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to laugh at you, it's just…," I could see her searching for words as she bit down on her lip. "It's just a complicated situation. That's all."

"I think I could catch on. Try me."

She stopped again, this time staring at him for a good long minute. Her face scrunched up in indecision; I could smell the blood rising to her lip as she continued biting down on it.

_Go ahead, Bella. Tell him. Tell me. Why did you leave your precious Edward?_

"Do you know anything about The Iliad, Jacob?"

"The Iliad? As in _Troy_? The movie? With that hot girl?" I watched Bella's reaction intently. She just rolled her eyes at his response. Where was she going with this?

"Yes, with that _hot girl_." She turned and began walking again as she continued to talk. "Anyway, do you remember Paris and Helen falling in love?"

"Helen, the hot girl right? And Paris is that guy who was that elf in…"

"_Lord of the Rings. _Yes. Well, you know the whole story of how Helen and Paris' love basically caused the whole war, right? Helen was married to Menelaus and she left him for Paris. So when Menelaus found out what happened, that set off the whole war." She was talking faster now and I could smell the blood rushing to her cheeks as she continued. "Well, have you ever taken a moment to think about Helen? About the choice she made?"

"You mean between the ugly guy who was her husband and the guy she loved?"

"No." Bella stopped abruptly and faced the boy, staring at him as she spoke. "I mean the choice she made between life and death. She knew that the odds were slim to none that she and Paris would make it out alive. The chances of them being happy were even slimmer. But she still chose to go with him. She risked everything for one moment of happiness."

"I don't understand where this going, Bella."

_Yes, where is this going, Bella dear?_

"I disagree with Helen." She said in a tiny voice, now staring her feet.

"You would have stayed with the nasty husband?"

"I would have saved Paris' life." I could smell the salt from the tears that were welling up in her eyes. "I would have stayed, because if staying meant that the person I loved would be safe and happier in time… then staying would be the best thing to do for him. He would be happy. He wouldn't need to worry about Helen's safety, or deal with how mad his family would be for putting them in danger… He would be better off that way."

_Ahhhh…here it is. Here is what I've been waiting for._ The Cullens thought that their precious human left because she was afraid of them--when in reality she left to _save_ them! I could hardly contain the rolls of laughter that were threatening to give away my position as I thought about the situation. There they were, sulking in Forks, Edward moping about thinking that Bella no longer loved him—and here she was crying all day long because of her _sacrifice! _It was almost too good…too perfect.

"Bella, wouldn't that just make them both unhappy? Neither one of them end up with their true love." He bent his head down to try to meet her eyes, but she just let her head sink down further.

"Maybe that's what true love is — being able to give it up in order to protect the one you love." Her tears were flowing freely now and her heart was beating frantically.

True love. What did this pathetic human know about true love? _I _knew what true love was. And I knew who had taken it from me. The Cullens and their precious pet that they _love_. Love a human! It was absurd to compare what James and I had with Edward and his human.

_His eyes were dancing in the moonlight, specks of red sparkling and tantalizing me. _

"_What are you thinking about Victoria?" I shivered delightfully as his voice filled my ears._

"_You." _

"_Me?" Reaching up from the forest floor he pulled me on top of him. I could feel his body underneath mine, his smooth skin caressing my own. Our eyes connected and danced with each other._

"_Yes you."_

"_Victoria," He kissed me softly on the lips, "I love you."_

"Bella," Breaking from my memories I watched the boy lift her chin up so they were looking at each other, "what was his name? Your Paris… what was his name?"

"Ed…Edward." Her voice broke pathetically before she collapsed into the boy's arms.

My mind was already swimming with wonderful plans of revenge… plans of taking everything Edward loved away from him. But how? I knew from speaking to Laurent he was distraught over Bella leaving. If I were to kill her, he would be devastated. No, merely killing her would not be enough.

"I bet he put up a fight for you, didn't he?" The boy's voice pulled me away from my plans.

"Huh?" She mumbled, her face still buried in his chest.

"Edward. I bet he fought hard to keep you."

Bella quickly pulled herself out of his arms and looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm assuming from what you just said that you left him. You decided that it was for his own good for you leave. I'm sure he didn't just sit there and say 'ok.'"

"He…I lied. I didn't tell him that's why I left."

"But you're a horrible liar Bella; I'm sure he saw right through it."

I heard her heart stop beating for a moment, and her breathing had stopped altogether as she stared at the boy, dumbstruck.

"Bella?"

She gasped for air when she realized she had stopped breathing, and opened and closed her mouth several times before she found the words she wanted to say.

"He… I… he…" Her whole body was shaking, not enough for the boy to notice, but I could see every inch of her was trembling in fear. What was this?

"He did fight for you, right, Bella? If he loved you, I'm sure he did."

Her heart stopped again and her breathing became uneven as she continued to shake.

Doubt. I listened again to her breathing and to the beats of her heart, and even from my hiding place in the shadows, I could see her eyes clearly—and there it was. Doubt.

_Bella, Bella, Bella. You truly are interesting. You doubt Edward's love for you. Foolish girl. _

"I want to go home, Jacob. I'm tired." The boy was confused, but he surrendered in defeat and dropped the subject; they turned around and began walking towards her house. Her expression was broken—as if her entire world has just been crushed, as if she had just lost the love of her life.

_Perfect. _

I knew exactly what to do. I knew exactly how to hurt Edward the most. It would be almost too easy.

_I'm taking it slow  
Feeding my flame  
Shuffling the cards of your game_

_And just in time  
In the right place  
Suddenly I will play my ace_

***

EPOV

Alice had told me to hunt before I went to Bella's, which was upsetting to me because I wanted nothing more than to just have Bella in my arms again. But Alice had been adamant. I had every intention to do as she had insisted, but the closer I got to Phoenix, the more absurd it sounded. The sooner I could be with Bella the better. Hunting would have to wait.

It was well past midnight when I arrived outside Bella's house. There was an old beat up car in her driveway, so I parked across the street. With my windows rolled down, I could feel the wind blowing softly, catching the smell of lavender and freesia in the air.

Bella.

Allowing her scent to play with my senses, I threw my head back and inhaled deeply. I could almost feel my heart beat again.

My Bella.

I looked towards the car in Bella's driveway. Frowning, I noted that it was a Volkswagen Rabbit—1986; I'd be surprised if it would even run. Phil must be fixing up an old car. No, Alice had said that Phil and Renee were in Jacksonville. Was Bella driving it? Sighing, I stepped out of my car and swore to myself that I would convince her to let me buy her a vehicle. Something smooth, something safe--a Mercedes Guard possibly.

Each step I took towards her house was deliberate and slow, her scent getting stronger as I went.

The sound of feet making their way towards the front door stopped me in my tracks. They were heavier than Bella's footsteps. A man's. The door creaked open and a boy stepped out onto the porch.

In no time I was back at my vehicle crouching behind it and peering over the hood, watching the boy. He seemed about the same age as Bella, his hair was long and I noticed he had a bit of stubble on his face. He looked like bad news. Some young kid thinking he was some cool, know-it-all most likely.

What was he doing at Bella's house? Was he trying to make a move on her? Hissing at the thought, I clenched my hands tight on the hood. She probably kicked him out anyway. Bella turned him down and now he was leaving with his tail between his legs. Pulling out my phone, I checked the time, disregarding the several missed calls from Alice. She was most likely upset I hadn't hunted first.

It was 12:30 am

Wait, 12:30 am? Was he friends with Bella? No. Impossible. He looked like a dog…not the sort Bella would be friends with. What was he doing here so late? I'll kill him if he laid one finger on my Bella. A low growl escaped my chest and I gripped the hood tighter as I watched him close the door behind him.

He reached down and lifted up a potted plant and withdrew a key to lock the door behind him, and made his way to his car. He knew where she kept the spare key? She was comfortable enough with this boy to tell him where the spare key was? I could feel the metal of my car bending underneath my grasp as I continued to growl.

This must be why Alice wanted me to hunt first. So I wouldn't see this boy leaving Bella's house.

Had Bella moved on? Is this what Alice was trying to keep me from seeing? Releasing the hood, I sunk down and repositioned into a sitting stance with my back against the car. Had Bella gotten over me, over us, so quickly…so easily? I felt a hole open up in my chest and I clutched it in hopes of stopping the pain

Hearing the loud noise his Rabbit made while he drove away, I decided that it didn't matter. Bella was mine. She loved me. I loved her. Alice's vision was proof that we would be together again, that we belonged together. I wasn't going to let some human boy get in my way.

I stood up in determination and moved to the porch. I pulled out the key, now reeking of the boy's scent, and slowly unlocked and opened the front door.

Bella's scent hit me and I almost stumbled backwards from the force of it. Inhaling again, I stepped inside and shut the door behind me. Her scent grew more powerful as I followed it to her bedroom. My throat was on fire with desire, and my chest felt like it was going to explode with anticipation. I rubbed my hand over my still heart and I swore I could feel it beating rapidly, aching for Bella.

I was just outside her bedroom now. She was sleeping. Her breathing was even and slow, her heart thumping rhythmically. My hand reached out and touched the wooden door, the only thing that separated me from my Bella. I leaned into it, lightly pressing one side of my face against it, taking in every sound that she was making. Every beat of her heart, every slow sigh, every small movement in her bed. I was basking in the glory of each and every one.

My hand trembled as I reached for the door knob. Grasping it in a final sense of urgency I accidently broke it completely off the door. I placed it on the floor and decided it could wait for morning. Right now the only thing that mattered was Bella. My angel. My love. Inhaling again I pushed the door open gently.

_I miss the sound of your voice  
And I miss the rush of your skin  
And I miss the still of the silence  
As you breathe out and I breathe in_


	10. Only In My Dreams

Chapter 10~Only In My Dreams

_Take a breath  
I pull myself together  
Just another step until I reach the door  
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you  
I wish that I could tell you something  
To take it all away_

Sometimes I wish I could save you  
And there're so many things that I want you to know  
I won't give up till it's over  
If it takes you forever I want you to know

EPOV

The door creaked gently as it slowly opened from my gentle push. Her blood sang to me louder than it ever had before as I stepped inside and closed my eyes. I dropped to my knees in an effort to restrain my desires and minimize the burning in my throat, allowing Bella's scent to cascade over me wave after wave. I kept my eyes shut trying to brace myself before I made my way over to Bella.

My Bella.

The burning in my throat sizzled to a low boil as my heart seemed to burst with excitement and longing, knowing it was mere feet away from its other half.

Slowly opening my eyes, I rested them upon the sleeping form of my heart's desire. The moonlight caused her skin to shimmer in shades of blue and silver. She was turned away from me, and I watched the light dance along the exposed skin of her back and shoulder, flickering and twinkling all the way up her neck until it disappeared underneath the locks of her brown hair. The waves of dark chocolate were sprawled across her pillow creating their own paths of destination.

Rising from my knees and moving towards her, I took in every feature. The way the sheets fell and folded across her body, the way the moonlight illuminated her curves, the way one foot was poking out from underneath the covers, the steady rise and fall of her chest…

I was looking down upon her directly now, seeing her face for the first time. The blues and silvers from the moonlight continued the dance across her skin, highlighting the soft features of her face. Her eyelashes intermingled with the flickers of light, casting thin, dark, shadows below her eyes stretching out over her cheeks. The pink of her lips stood out among the silvery blue glow and they were parted slightly letting out delicate wisps of air.

Inhaling deeply, I leaned in closer, skimming my nose across her jaw as closely as I could without touching her.

"Bella," I whispered too softly for her to hear, my breath lightly blowing against her cheek.

"Edward?" She whispered.

Quickly moving my gaze to her eyes, I saw that she was still sleeping. She was dreaming about me. There was a soft smile playing on her lips. Alice was right, Bella still loved me.

"You always did talk in your sleep, love." Her nose scrunched up ever so slightly, and I went to delicately kiss her forehead, when she abruptly jerked in her sleep. She was now laying flat on her back shaking her head back and forth.

"You don't understand," she mumbled as I noticed that her breathing was becoming irregular and chill bumps were forming on her arms. I tugged the bottom of her sheets to cover her exposed foot, and pulled them up to her neck, tucking her in. Her body jolted and she threw the sheets off of her.

"He did love me." Her teeth were clenched as she brought her arms up and rubbed her face in her hands. I realized she was having a nightmare and I moved closer to her in an attempt to wake her up.

My lips were inches from hers when she cried out, "Leave me alone!"

"Bella?" I could hear the anguish of my heart reflected in my voice. She opened her mouth, her face contorted in pain. "Bella…please…wake up," I pleaded.

"Edward!" She called out in agony. Grabbing her arms trying to wake her from her nightmare, I stared intently at her face, cursing the fact that I couldn't read her mind.

"What did you do to him?" She whimpered in my arms. Releasing my light grip on her, I began humming her lullaby, and started to stroke her cheek in an attempt to soothe her. As soon as my fingers touched her warm skin, she recoiled from the touch, tears streaming down her face.

"Please don't hurt him. Don't hurt me. Edward…" She was speaking to me. I immediately withdrew my hands from her face. She was dreaming about me.

The nightmare was about me.

Looking down, the moonlight was shining on her hand, causing the scar James had left to glow eerily.

"_The fire! Someone stop the fire!" Bella was twisting in agony, covered in blood. I looked down at her hands and saw the bite. Everything stopped in that instant. _

"_Carlisle! Her hand!" _

"_He bit her." Carlisle confirmed my fear. I looked into my love's face as it twisted in pain, her hair was matted with blood, and it flowed down her face, across her closed eyes. _

_My Bella. I felt myself let out a defeated sob. I had failed her. I had caused her pain._

Backing away from the bed in horror, I realized that I had done nothing but cause her pain. I should have never come here. Bella was scared of me. Why had I listened to Alice? I needed to let Bella go, let her live a happy and safe life, free from all the pain I would inflict on her.

I was a monster.

I took one last look at Bella. She was still whimpering as tears continued to flow down her face, dripping onto her pillow. My eye's burned in pain, begging to feel the relief of tears as my bottom lip quivered uncontrollably at the sight of my love writhing in her bed.

Bella was now panting heavily, thrashing her arms wildly. Her heart was beating unhealthily fast and her blood was pumping violently.

Hurrying to her side, I lightly kissed her lips one last time. "Wake up!" I called to her in desperation. Her eyes fluttered, and I caught a quick glimpse of the brown underneath her eyelid before I rushed out of her bedroom. I waited in the hallway until I heard her breathing and heartbeat slowly return to normal. The weight of the bed shifted as I heard her feet hit the floor. She was awake. With that knowledge I sped out of the house and into my car, throwing the Volvo in gear and slamming down on the gas, ignoring the vibrating phone in my pocket.

BPOV

_I watched the sunlight dance across the sky as I lay on my back. The winds were blowing around me, singing my lullaby; the notes echoed throughout the forest surrounding the meadow._

_This was our meadow. _

_Breathing in the fresh scent of the forest I noticed a new scent around me. It was sweet, delicious…my mouth began to water from the coolness of it. I knew that smell. _

_Edward. _

_Closing my eyes, I breathed in deeply trying to drown myself in his scent. _

"_Edward?" I whispered silently. _

"_You always did talk in your sleep my love." His velvet voice filled my ears, harmonizing with my lullaby._

_I was sleeping? But he sounded and smelled so real. Sitting up, I looked around the meadow only to find myself alone. He was only in my dreams. _

"_He did fight for you, right, Bella?" The meadow unexpectedly disappeared as Jacob's voice echoed in my mind. _

_I was suddenly running through the forest searching for something. _

_The meadow. Our meadow. Where was it? Why did it disappear? Why couldn't I find it?_

_Tree branches whipped across my face as I ran, frantically searching for it, searching for Edward._

"_You're a horrible liar Bella; I'm sure he saw right through it." Jacob's voice echoed through the trees again as I continued running._

"_You don't understand," I shouted back. Faster. I needed to be faster. A stitch in my side was growing rapidly and I was struggling to breath as I ran faster and faster. I felt my foot get caught on the root of a tree, sending my body slamming onto the ground. I had tried to brace the fall with my arms but they had buckled underneath the weight and my face plunged into a puddle of mud._

"_He did fight for you, right, Bella? If he loved you, I'm sure he did." _

"_He did love me," I spit out, pulling myself out of the mud. Jacob didn't know. He didn't understand. If I could just find the meadow he would understand. He would know that Edward loved me. _

_Wiping mud out of my eyes, I looked around trying to decide which way to go. Jacob was casually leaning against a tree looked at me with an amused expression._

"_You're a horrible liar, Bella."_

"_Leave me alone!" I screamed and broke off into a run again searching for the meadow. I should have found it by now. Edward was probably there waiting for me, he would come find me soon. He would realize I was lost._

"_Bella?" His velvet voice reached my ears again, but this time it was dripping in anguish. I spun around searching for him when I suddenly came face to face with a pair of crimson eyes. _

_James._

_I opened my mouth trying to scream for help but no sound came out. Slowly backing away I heard Edward's heartbreaking plea again._

"_Bella…please…wake up." I looked over James' shoulder and saw my Edward on the ground begging with me._

"_Edward!" I went to go to him when James grabbed my arms, his icy grip stopping me dead in my tracks. "What did you do to him?" I whimpered, unable to move my eyes from Edward's. He was twisting in agony, his eyes drenched in pain._

_James released me from my grip as the winds began playing my lullaby again. He grinned sinisterly while he reached out, stroking my cheek. Flinching from the feel of his skin against mine, I felt tears rush down my face._

"_Please don't hurt him. Don't hurt me," I begged of James and turned from the crimson eyes back to the sight of my love on the ground. "Edward…"_

_James was walking towards me again, and I turned to run, but he caught me by the waist, pulling my body against his._

"_Where do you think you're going, dear Bella?" He whispered in my ear. The tears were flowing profusely now as I tried to wiggle away from his grasp. _

_His body shook with laughter as one of his hands slowly crept up my chest, finding its way to my neck. Using his other arm, he twisted me around to face him and pulled me closer. Tightening his grip on my neck, he jerked it back roughly as I shut my eyes trying to escape from the murderous glare in his red eyes. Feeling his icy lips brush against mine, my entire body cringed in disgust, causing bile to rise up into my mouth._

"_Wake up!" Edward's voice boomed, the force of it pushing James away from me as the forest vanished._

Edward's face swam in front of me for a brief instant as I slowly blinked, trying to take in my surroundings. The images from my nightmare came rushing back to me as I forced the bile back down my throat. I pressed the palm of my hands forcefully against my eyes, trying to rid myself of the glaring crimson that burned in the back of my eyelids. Opening my eyes a few minutes later, I noticed that my sheets and pajamas were soaked in sweat. I slowly crawled out of bed to change them, and shivered when my feet hit the cold floor, sending reminders up and down my spine of James' icy grip.

There was a light scent wafting in the air that I could almost recognize. Taking in a big whiff, I decided that it was all in my head. He couldn't be here. Edward wouldn't be here…unless…unless Jacob was right, and Edward had seen right through me.

"_But you're a horrible liar Bella. I'm sure he saw right through it."_

_I froze. The night air was smothering me as my vision faded to black. Alice's voice swirled in my ear, _"Bella…tell me the truth…I know it's not because you're scared…"_ She knew that I was lying to her. She could always tell when I was lying. So could Edward._

"_Bella?" Jacob's voice broke through the darkness as Phoenix came back into view. Gasping for air I tried unsuccessfully to find an answer._

"_He…I…he…," I incoherently muttered while trying to get a grip on myself. Edward knows when I lie to him. He knew I was lying to him._

Maybe Edward had come to get me. To tell me I never should have left, that my reasoning was crazy and didn't make any sense.

Glancing around in the darkness, I timidly opened my mouth and whispered, "Edward?"

"Edward?" I called out again, this time I little bit louder.

Silence.

Cursing myself for being so stupid as to think he was actually here, I grabbed a fresh pair of pajamas and changed into them.

"_He did fight for you, right, Bella? If he loved you, I'm sure he did."_

Jacob's words rang in my head over and over again. _If he loved you…__** if**__he loved you. _

If.

Did Edward love me? Had it all been in my head?

No. That was absurd. Edward loved me. He told me he loved me.

Shaking off my thoughts, I tore the sheets off my bed, and gathered them together with the sweaty pajamas to carry them to the laundry room.

Heading for my bedroom door, I noticed it was wide open, but then realized that Jacob had probably left it that way. Walking past it, however, I become aware of the fact that the door handle was missing. I was unable to come up for an explanation for that one. Still focusing on the hole where the handle should be, I backed out of the doorway and stepped on something hard causing me to lose my balance and fly backwards. I landed on the floor with the sheets piled on top of me and foot throbbing.

Shoving the sheets off, I clutched my foot and looked around for the culprit. The door handle. It was lying in front of my bedroom on the floor, noticeably bent out of shape. That was odd. Had Jacob broken it?

Getting to my feet, I decided I would think about it more in the morning, and gathered up the sheets and the door handle and continued to the laundry room.

Throwing the sheets on the floor with the rest of the laundry, and placing the door handle on top of the dryer, I grabbed a blanket from the linen closet. I was too tired to make the bed and decided to just sleep on the couch for the rest of the night.

I made my way into the kitchen to grab a drink of water before going back to sleep, and I noticed the hot chocolate mugs drying on the counter.

_His hands cupped my cheek and brought my face upward to meet his. His thumb accidently rubbed against my lower lip and he quickly withdrew his hand. "Bella, if I upset you I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean to. I just wanted to know more about you…" We were standing just outside my front door. _

"_It's not your fault. I just…I just…it's been rough." _

"_Do you have any hot chocolate?"_

"_What?"_

"_Hot chocolate. My dad would always give me hot chocolate when I was upset about something. He'd also add a shot of some random alcohol we had laying around the house to help me sleep." My stomached turned at the mention of alcohol as I recalled my last encounter with it. Jacob must have noticed my nauseous face. "We can always leave out the alcohol." _

"_I think that would be a good idea," I replied as he chuckled softly and led me inside._

Finishing my glass of water, I headed to the living room and nestled into the couch, wrapping the blanket tight round me. I silently thanked my lucky stars for having Jacob as a friend. He was always listening when I needed him to, being quiet when I needed him to, and always finding a way to make me laugh. I chuckled quietly to myself as I recalled Jacob's stories he had told me earlier that evening.

_I was in my pajamas and giggling wildly, listening to Jacob tell me stories of when he was younger. My favorite so far was when he went on vacation to a beach in Washington and was dared to go cliff-diving._

"_So there I was, standing on the top of the cliff while my buddies were all yelling at me to jump." He was standing up on the couch with his arms outstretched dramatically, while I hung on every word._

"_Did you do it?" I asked from my place sitting on the living room floor below him. _

"_I took one step closer to the edge," he stuck one foot out over the edge of the couch, swinging his arms about trying to retain balance, "and then I looked down." _

"_And?"_

"_I peed my pants." I laughed wildly, almost spilling what was left of my hot chocolate as I rolled backward onto the floor laughing. He jumped from the couch and lay down beside me, propping himself up on one elbow. His smile spread wide across his face as he waited for me to catch my breath._

"_I haven't laughed like that in ages. Did you really pee your pants?" _

"_Yup. Granted I was only a kid…like five, six…last year…" I giggled again and stared up at the ceiling. We lay there in silence for a few minutes and I felt my eyelids begin to droop._

"_You're getting tired."_

"_Yes," I yawned. I pushed myself up and tried to stand up, but I lost my balance and came crashing down on top of Jacob. He wrapped his arms around me as he shook in laughter before rolling me over off of him. I felt my cheek flush with warmth as I mumbled a silent sorry._

"_Bells, I know you're clumsy." He chuckled as he stood up and reached his hand down for me to grab. After pulling me to my feet and sitting me on the couch, he grabbed the hot chocolate mugs and retreated to the kitchen. I meant to follow him but I was entirely too tired to move. _

_Before I knew what was happening, I felt his arms encircle and lift me from the couch. I tried to say something, but instead ending up mumbling something about walking. _

"_You feel asleep while I was cleaning the mugs Bells. I'm just taking you to your bed."_

"_Mmhmm."_

_I felt my head hit the pillow a few seconds later and sheets being pulled up over me. _

"_Jacob?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_I like that."_

"_Like what?"_

"_Bells."_

Snuggling further into the couch I felt my eyelids get heavier as I slowly drifted off the sleep.

_That if you fall, stumble down  
I'll pick you up off the ground  
If you lose faith in you  
I'll give you strength to pull through  
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall  
Oh you know I'll be there for you_

If only I could find the answer  
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you  
And there're so many things that I want you to know  
I wont give up till it's over  
If it takes you forever I want you to know


	11. Missed Calls

**A/N--sooo I just figured out how to put in Author's Notes!! LOL...so let me say thank you really quickly to my awesome beta, alicedances and all of my readers here and over at Twilighted! I also have a forum thread over there if you're interested;) I post teasers and what not:)**

Chapter 11~Missed Calls

APOV

Struggling to resist the temptation to crumple the cell phone in my hands, I instead placed it on the bedside table and searched around for something else on which to take out my anger. Spotting a dress in my closet that was from last season, I strode towards it and ripped it from the hanger, tearing it to shreds vehemently.

I was livid. If Edward were here, I would have torn him apart piece by piece. Stupid, masochistic brother.

Growling loudly, I searched for clothing that I had worn a few too many times, and vigorously went about expressing my anger on the designer dresses. Jasper appeared at the closet door a few minutes later, wearing a look of confusion and concern.

"Alice? Why are you so angry?" He remained at the door, eying the heap of ruined clothes under which I was halfway buried, apparently afraid to venture in any farther.

"Edward," I growled.

Seemingly relieved that I was not mad at him, he came closer and picked up a few pieces of the destroyed clothing, holding them up in question. "So you're taking it out on your beloved wardrobe?" He chuckled lightly as he spoke.

"I don't see this as funny at all," I snapped back, climbing out of the pile and grabbing the scraps of fabric out of his hands. "Besides, these are older. I won't miss them."

"All right, all right." He threw up his hands in mock surrender before pulling me into a hug and resting his chin on my head. I instantly felt much calmer and lighthearted.

"Jasper. Stop it." I grumbled into his chest while I struggled to break free from his grasp.

"Stop what?" He replied innocently, tightening his hold on me and stroking my face as I felt another wave of lightheartedness roll over me.

"You know what! Stop trying to calm me down! I'm mad at Edward, and I have a right to be!" Wiggling myself free, I ducked underneath his arms and stomped out of the closet, heading for my cell phone again.

No missed calls. I hit the send button, tapping my foot impatiently as I listened to the phone ring. Jasper had moved to sit on the edge of the bed, having given up on trying to calm me down. Reaching Edward's voicemail for the fourth time, I left him another message in the string of angry rants he would be getting from me until he decided to answer his phone.

"What did he do?" Jasper questioned from his place on the bed once I had hung up the phone. I hopped up beside him and sat cross-legged, and he turned to face me. Strands of his blond hair fell haphazardly across his forehead, and I instinctively ran my hand through it, pushing it out of his eyes. His eyes were shimmering gold and filled to the brim with concern.

"He left her. He left Bella. She was talking in her sleep and it sounded like she asked Edward not to hurt her—but that couldn't be what she meant, why would she think Edward would hurt her?" I searched his eyes for an answer, something to tell me that I could have heard it wrong.

He stroked my cheek lovingly before answering; he seemed to be weighing his words very carefully. "Alice. I know you love Bella and I know you think that she left for some other reason, but doesn't this just confirm what Edward believed all along? She _is_ scared of us."

"You said that you never felt any fear from her! You told me that she always felt safe and comforted around us," I protested.

"Not on her birthday. She was scared when I…when I…" He was struggling to find the words, and I quickly quieted him by pressing my lips affectionately against his and running my hands through his hair.

"Don't do this to yourself. What happened at her birthday was an accident, and it could have happened to anyone--"

"Not to you. Not to—"

"Stop blaming yourself." Gripping both sides of his face so that he could see straight into my eyes, I continued, "You are not the reason she left, and I will not have you continuing to put this burden on your shoulders." Kissing him again, I turned around and leaned my back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me as I went back to contemplate Bella's sleep-talking.

"Where is Edward?" The sound of his name quickly brought back up the anger boiling in the pit of my stomach. Jasper quickly flooded me with a rush of tranquility to pacify my anger.

"He hasn't decided. He keeps changing his mind." I watched his various options soar through my head—South America, Canada, Isle Esme… "He's definitely not coming here, though."

"What was his reaction to Bella's dream?"

"Same as yours. He decided that Bella was right to leave us, that we're too dangerous for her, and then he left." I replayed his face in my mind and felt my heart ache for him. "He was heartbroken. I could see it in his face. He was more broken than when I found him in the meadow after she left."

"Did she see him?"

"No, she—"

Abruptly, the room turned black as my vision overtook my senses.

_There was girl with long brown hair standing alone, surrounded in complete darkness. Her face was full of fear and her breathing was heavy and panicked. A thin, pale hand emerged out of the darkness and placed itself on her shoulder. She turned sharply and backed away. A woman with flaming orange hair emerged from the shadows. _

"Alice? What was it? What did you see?" Jasper was huddled above me, cupping my face and holding my body close to his.

"Bella," my voice trembled as I spoke, "with Victoria."

I felt the waves of fear flow unconsciously off of Jasper as I tried desperately to focus on my vision. I couldn't make out anything, it was too dark. "I don't know where they were," I mumbled frantically. "I couldn't see…"

"When? How far into the future?" Feelings of fear were quickly replaced with calm as Jasper's face became a mask of determination and authority. Whenever there was danger, he would always revert back to the beginning years of his life, a soldier ready to protect his family.

"I…I don't know." Closing my eyes, I tried to force another vision to come, but was unsuccessful. I reached for my cell phone again, dialing Edward's number for the fifth time as Jasper went and alerted the rest of the family. When he didn't answer, I quickly typed him a text:

_Bella is in danger. Call me immediately. _

EPOV

I drove mindlessly, without purpose. The night enveloped me from all sides, as I desperately tried to distance myself as quickly as possible from Bella. A sob escaped my throat and reverberated throughout the car as her face flashed before my eyes.

"_Don't hurt me. Edward…" _Her cries played in my mind, over and over again like a broken record. I had hurt her; even in her sleep, I was hurting her. My entire body was wracked with guilt and self-loathing. I should have stayed away from her. She had finally done something good for herself. She had left me, the monster, behind, and I had been too selfish to let her be.

I caught my reflection in the rearview mirror; I was disgusting, a monster trying to pretend to be something he's not. Wrenching the rearview mirror from its place, I threw it in the backseat, too revolted by the paleness of my skin and the color of my eyes to look at myself anymore.

The phone in my pocket broke my thoughts as it vibrated relentlessly. Pulling it from my pocket, I confirmed that it was Alice. I knew she would have known that I had changed my mind. I also knew that she would be upset. But it wasn't her decision—it was mine. I needed to protect Bella, and the only way to do that was to stay out of her life.

Trying to rid myself of the fear on her face I saw during her nightmare, I instead pictured her on the night of prom.

"_Edward," she whispered, "I honestly can't dance!" _

_I couldn't help but chuckle as her eyebrows scrunched up in nervousness. Her brown hair cascaded in spiraling curls down her back, and framed her face perfectly. _

_Leaning in close to her ear, I whispered, "Don't worry, silly. I can." I gently trailed my hands up the sides of the deep blue, silk dress, tracing her curves before bringing her arms up softly around my neck. Radiating in her warm touch, I slowly brought my hand back down to her waist and lifted her gently and positioned her on top of my feet. Her cast made things somewhat awkward, but it didn't matter. Whirling her around delicately to the slow beat of the music, I became lost in her eyes. Alice had accented the brown perfectly with Bella's makeup. _

_I watched her eyes dance with delight as she giggled lightly. "I feel like I'm five years old!" Her face was alive with joy and her lips were spread out in a huge smile. She was beyond beautiful. In my entire existence, I had never seen anything so stunning as my Bella. _

"_You don't look five," I muttered and pulled her body closer against mine. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the warmth and electricity that was shooting between our bodies. My dead heart seemed to jump back to life as we waltzed around the room._

The phone's vibrating tore me from my memories again. Looking down, it now said I had five missed calls, five new voicemails, and one new text message…all from Alice.

I needed to be alone. I would contact my family when I was ready. Rolling down the driver's side window, I tossed the phone out into the night and drove on.

_I feel like I was born  
To devastation and reform  
Destroying everything I loved  
And the worst part is  
I pull my heart out, reconstruct  
And in the end it's nothing but  
The shell of what I had when I first started_


	12. My Best Friend

Chapter 12~ My Best Friend

APOV

Everyone was gathered in the living room waiting for Carlisle to return from work. Jasper had informed all of them about my vision while I called Carlisle to tell him. He had ordered all of us not to act until he was home.

Esme waited by the front window while Rosalie and Emmett sat on the couch, whispering quietly to each other. Rosalie would not be supportive of risking our family for Bella again, but I knew eventually she would give in. As much as she hated Bella, she wanted the family to be happy, and she knew that Bella was part of that equation.

Jasper sat at the other end of the couch, deep in thought, most likely going over strategies. I could see that later on he would blame himself again, claiming that he should have expected Victoria to attack after we had killed her mate. I stood by Edward's piano, lightly tracing the keys to the rhythm of the lullaby he had composed for Bella.

I kept my mind trained to Carlisle's arrival…only five more minutes, now. Shutting my eyes tightly, I concentrated on my vision again, trying desperately to pick up on some clue as to where Bella and Victoria were and how far away it was.

The minutes passed by slowly until we finally heard Carlisle's car approaching. Jasper moved from the couch to stand by me as Carlisle entered the front door.

Esme instantly greeted him with a hug before they walked further into the room. His face looked worn and worried.

"I called the Denali sisters right after I spoke with you, Alice." I moved to the couch and curled my legs up under me as he spoke. Jasper remained standing, listening intently to Carlisle's words. "As you all know, Laurent has been living with them for sometime. He told me that Victoria has contacted him, but refused to say anymore."

Emmett rose from his seat, his growling echoed throughout the room. "What do you mean he _refused_?"

"Emmett, son, calm down." Carlisle maintained a calm composure but I could see the lines of worry etched in his face. "I got the impression from him that Victoria may have threatened him. He seemed fearful to speak anymore on the subject, especially when I mentioned Bella's name. However, he did tell me tell me to keep an eye on her, which only leads me to believe that Bella is in danger. And there is no question as to what Alice saw." Turning toward me he continued, "Alice, have you seen anything else? Figured out where or when your vision occurred?"

"No."

"Carlisle." The sound of my husband's voice startled me. It was not his normal calming voice, but his military voice, full of command and deliberation. "I don't think Bella is in immediate danger. We have not detected any other vampires here in Forks, including Victoria. When she comes after Bella, I believe she will come looking for her in Forks first. Of course, when she realizes that she is not here it will not take long for her find Bella in Phoenix. The best course of action would be to wait for Victoria here and stop her in her tracks."

The room was quiet for a moment while everyone considered Jasper's words. I shut my eyes and anxiously searched for a vision to confirm his plan of action, but the vision of Bella and Victoria still did not change.

"Alice? Do you see anything?" Carlisle asked.

"No…it's the same."

Carlisle sighed before standing up again and moving to the window.

"Alice said her vision was dark, right?" Emmett asked, looking for confirmation from me. "Victoria could have just decided to attack Bella, no matter where she is. Maybe the vision won't change until we stop her."

"He's right." Rosalie rose and put her hand on Emmett's shoulder. "She saw Bella as a vampire, and that was a vision based on a decision Bella had made in her mind. It wasn't based on certain circumstances."

"That's very possible." Carlisle responded and turned to face us again, looking at me for insight. They were grasping at straws, I knew they were. It was possible, but not very likely.

"Yes. It's possible," I conceded. "But I don't think we should leave Bella unguarded just because Victoria _might_ come to Forks first. Someone has to get to Edward as well. I saw him throw away his cell phone, and he needs to know about this."

"You're talking about splitting our family up in three different ways!" Rosalie argued, her eyes alight with frustration.

"I agree with Alice, "Carlisle responded.

Getting the nod from Carlisle, Jasper took over. "Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, and I will stay here and wait for Victoria. We do not know if she will be alone, and it's important to maintain a strong front. Rosalie, you will go track down Edward—"

"What? Why do I have to be the one to find Edward? It's his own fault for leaving!"

"This is no time to argue, Rosalie," Carlisle answered, giving her a look that settled the matter.

"And Alice—"

"Go to Phoenix, I know." As scared as I was, I was bubbling over with excitement knowing that I would see my best friend soon.

Rushing upstairs to pack my bags, Carlisle's voice stopped me in my tracks. "Don't let her know you're there."

Turning to face my father, I crossed my arms angrily, cutting him off as he opened his mouth to speak again. "I already know what you're going to say, and you're wrong. I won't scare her. She's not afraid of us. How many times do I have to tell you all that?"

"It's for the best if you watch her from a distance. Respect Bella's wishes Alice. I do not want her knowing you are there." With that he turned around, feeling that the matter was settled, and I continued upstairs to pack.

Within minutes, I was downstairs bidding goodbye to my family.

"Rosalie, right now Edward is headed to South America. He doesn't know where yet, but I'll call you as soon as he does." She nodded and threw her own bags into her car as Emmett embraced her to tell her goodbye.

Jasper pulled me close to him and stroked my cheeks gently, brushing his thumb across my lips.

"Be safe," we both whispered to each other before our lips met tenderly. His hands roamed up and down my back, leaving traces of fire in their wake as I pressed passionately deeper into the kiss. Finally pulling apart, he helped me into my car while whispering his love for me into my ears.

As I pulled out of the garage, I heard Carlisle call out to me.

"Don't contact Bella, Alice!"

_Try and stop me. _Grinning to myself I headed towards Phoenix.

Towards Bella.

BPOV

I awoke to the sound of my phone ringing somewhere in the distance. Rubbing my eyes and sitting up, it took me a moment to remember why I was on the living room couch instead of in my bed. Edward's screams echoed in my head from the nightmare, and I quickly tried to suppress them as I climbed off the couch. Rushing to my room, I was able to answer the phone just in time, smiling slightly when I read the caller ID.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hi honey! I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"It's okay, I was going to get up soon anyway for school." I made my way into the laundry room and tucked the phone between my shoulder and ear while I loaded up the washing machine with the sheets from last night.

"Oh good. How was your weekend? Has Charlie called? Do you need money for groceries?"

"Mom! Slow down," I laughed. "My weekend was good, I just hung out with some friends, and Charlie called on Thursday. I think I'm good on groceries." Truthfully, I was great on groceries. I hadn't had much desire to eat since I left Forks. Jacob alone had eaten more this past weekend from my refrigerator than I had since I had been here. "How are things in Jacksonville?"

"Actually, that's why I called." Closing the washing machine, I leaned against it, bracing myself for the news. "I know I promised you that I would come to Phoenix this weekend and stay for a few weeks, but Phil's under a lot of stress, and I don't feel comfortable leaving him."

"It's fine. I understand." A flicker of light caught my eye, and I turned to see where it was coming from; I saw the sun reflecting off the broken doorknob I had set on the dryer last night.

"Bella—"

"Seriously, it's cool." I picked up the broken knob and turned it around in my hands. "It's Halloween this weekend anyway, and I'll probably be out with all my friends," I lied. Well, maybe I would do something with Jacob. No, he probably already had plans with other people, a party most likely.

"Well, if you're sure it's okay with you." Renee's voice interrupted my musings. "I'm going to put some money in your account just to be sure you have enough, okay? Have you been driving my car? I'm going to put some gas money in your account, too."

"I've haven't been using it that much, you don't need to—"

"No, no, no…you're a teenager Bella, you're supposed to be spending all my money!" Her laugh filled my ear and it warmed for a brief moment. I had been looking forward to seeing her this weekend, but Renee was Renee.

"Mom, I should probably be getting ready for school." I placed the doorknob back on the dryer and headed towards my bedroom.

"Okay honey. I love you."

"Love you, too." Tossing the phone on the desk I crossed off Renee's visit from my calendar and got ready for school.

***

"Can I borrow your calculator? I left mine at home and I have calculus next," Jenna asked me before I walked into English class.

"Sure." Setting my book bag on the hallway floor, I kneeled beside it to fish out my calculator.

"So Bella, did you have fun at the party Friday night? I mean, I know you got a little sick, but other than that?"

"I don't really remember much of the party," I replied, pushing a strand of hair out of my face as I dug deeper. "All I know is that I woke up Saturday morning feeling like I had just died."

"Yea…sorry about not calling to check up on you, I ended up going home with Rick and well…" She rambled quickly. "Not that I forgot about you, it's just, well, I was with Rick and just kind of got caught up—"

"I doubt she wants to hear about your sex escapades." Looking up at the sound of Jacob's voice, I saw that he was leaning up against the wall staring down at me. "What are you looking for?"

"I'm borrowing her calculator. I left mine at home," Jenna shot back annoyingly. "Anyways, like I was saying, Rick and I—"

Finally finding the calculator, I stood up and cut her off, "Tell me about it later, class is about to start." Handing over the calculator, I heaved the book bag on my shoulder, and walked into class with Jacob right behind me. Taking my normal seat, I was surprised to see that Jacob took the one right next to me.

"I told you we had English together," he smiled towards me.

"Have you always sat right next to me?"

"Well, no." His smile faded as he blushed slightly. "I traded with that girl over there." He mumbled, gesturing to a blonde on the other side of the room. "No big deal."

Laughing, I took out my notebook and waited for class to begin. Throughout class, I struggled to hold in fits of laughter as Jacob and I passed notes. It was the first time since Forks that I had actually paid any attention to anyone other than teacher during school. With that thought, my body shook involuntarily as their faces flashed in my memory. Emmett…Alice…Edward…

Jacob noticed and whispered towards me, "You okay?"

"Mr. Black! Not talking please," the teacher snapped from the front of the room.

"Sorry Mrs. Carter, it won't happen again," Jacob said, shooting the teacher a wide smile. He looked back over me, and I mouthed that I was fine.

After class, we made our way out to the parking lot, with Jenna catching up with us a few moments later.

"Here's your calculator. Thanks again for letting me use it." Handing it to me, she scanned the parking lot for a second before spotting her prey as we leaned up against Jacob's car. "Bella have you met Brian yet?"

I looked to where she was gazing and noted the blonde boy she was referring to. "No."

"Well, he's having a party Saturday night for Halloween. I was wondering if you would come along with me?"

I looked towards Jacob for an excuse but he was busy throwing his books in the trunk. "Um, I'm not—"

"Bella, Bella, please? I can't go alone! I have a little crush on him, and I would look stupid if I showed up alone."

"What happened to Rick?"

"Huh?" She seemed too busy scoping out Brian's body to pay any attention to my question. "So you'll be there, right? Saturday night?"

"I, uh…"

"She can't go, Jenna. She's busy Saturday night." Jacob rejoined our conversation and leaned casually next to me.

She stared at him for a second then looked at me and then back at him again. "Are you two dating?" She practically yelled.

Jumping from her accusation, the calculator went tumbling from my hands and was about to slam onto the pavement, but Jacob caught it just in time. Handing it back to me he answered Jenna, "No. We're not dating. Unlike you, Bella can actually just be friends with a guy instead of hopping into his bed first chance she gets."

She crossed her arms and stared at him with a puffed up, affronted look on her face. "I do not sleep with every boy I meet, Jacob Black. For instance, I wouldn't be caught dead anywhere near your pants!"

Jacob put on the biggest goofy pouty face before responding. "And every day I ask myself: _Why? Why won't Jenna have me?_"

She cocked her face to the side and said, "Keep teasing all you want, but one day you'll feel differently." Readjusting her book bag, she turned to me. "I'll see you tomorrow." With that, she turned and made her way over to Brian.

We both giggled as we watched her try and flirt with the poor guy.

"I'm busy Saturday night am I?" I asked, turning my gaze away from Jenna and looking up at Jacob.

"Unless you want to go to the party? I just thought maybe you wouldn't be all that interested in partying it up again." I simply nodded as he chuckled lightly underneath his breath. "So what are you up to tonight?"

"Homework probably. Why?"

"Well, my Dad is out of tonight, so I was thinking of ordering Chinese. I thought maybe you'd want in on it? I could bring it over to your place around eight?"

I felt myself smile involuntarily. In truth, after spending a whole weekend with Jacob, the prospect of spending another evening alone in the house with Edward's face haunting me was too overwhelming to deal with. I also couldn't remember the last time that the prospect of eating was appealing.

"I would love to."

***

True to his word, I heard Jacob's car pull up around eight, and I went to open the front door for him as he carried in two bags of take-out.

Looking back out to his car I asked, "Is there someone else coming?"

"No. Why?" His voice called from the kitchen.

Closing the door and joining him in the kitchen, I watched as he unloaded box after box of food. "It's just that you brought so much food!"

"Oh." His voice fell slightly as he slowed to a stop and turned to me. "Well, don't get angry, but I noticed that you haven't really been eating all that much. I mean, you never eat at school and this weekend I noticed you haven't touched hardly any of the food in the house."

I crossed my arms awkwardly, and looked down at the kitchen floor. I didn't realize it was so obvious to other people that I hadn't been eating. As much as I wanted to be angry at him for interfering, my heart warmed knowing that he cared so much. I looked back up at him as he waited for me to respond.

"Thank you," I whispered.

His eyes were filled with concern, and I couldn't help but wonder if maybe I was being unfair to him. Timidly I walked forward so I was standing right in front of him. I knew what he had wanted from me in the beginning. A girlfriend. I also knew that I would never be able to comepletely give myself to him, but I owed it to Jacob to at least try to be what he needed. He had been incredible to me from the beginning, and I owed him at least this much.

Still maintaining eye contact, I reached up to cup his face in my hands, and pulled him closer to me. Closing my eyes, I forced myself to imagine Edward, to pretend that he was Edward. Feeling his warm breath less than inch from me, I tried to imagine that it was Edward's cool breath instead, an icy breeze filled with a delicate sweetness. Standing up on my tip-toes, I was forcing myself to bring my lips to his, when I suddenly felt his fingers press against my lips.

"Bella."

Shooting my eyes open, I looked into his as he moved his fingers from my lips and brought both of his hands to cup my face.

"Bella. You don't want this." He pushed a stray lock of hair out of my eyes while I stood there motionless.

"But… I thought that you wanted this." He sighed and pulled me to his chest, encircling me in a hug. "I don't want to be unfair to you, Jacob. You've been so nice to me… and you deserve…. I just… I know you wanted to me to be…"

"Shh, Bella." He stroked my back gently before moving his arms to my shoulders and pushing me back just enough to look into my face. "I don't want you to be anything more than you are right now. You're very pretty, and when I first met you, yes, I was attracted to you, and I _did_ want you to be more than a friend."

He cupped my face again. "But Bella, you love someone else." I could feel fresh tears flow down my face freely. "It would be unfair of me to ask anything else of you. I want to be your _friend_. I want to help you get through this." He pulled me back into a hug as I wept uncontrollably into his chest. "Bella, I'm here for you. I want to be that friend who's there to pick you up when you fall down—and I mean that literally. I've never met anyone who falls down as much as you."

I laughed weakly into his chest as he rubbed his hands in a circular motion on my back. A few minutes later, his stomach growled loudly, and I couldn't help but to giggle lightly. Finally drying my tears, I pulled out of his embrace.

"I think it's time to eat," I pointed out as he chuckled and turned back to the Chinese food, handing me a couple of boxes.

"Let's do something fun. It's gotten a little too emotionally heavy for me." Picking up the rest of the take-out boxes, he carried them into the living room and I followed. Placing his food on the coffee table, he eyed the play station connected to the TV. "Do you have any good games?"

"I think they're mostly Phil's." I placed the take out boxes on the coffee table next to his and joined him nest to the game system, pulling out a basket full of games.

Flipping through them, Jacob came to a stop and pulled one out. "Karaoke?"

"Renee's. She loves karaoke. She used to always make me do it with her." I watched his face break out into a grin as he opened the case and pulled out the CD. "Jacob. No. It's embarrassing, and I've been embarrassed enough around you."

"What's one more time then?" Putting the game in, he grabbed the controller, then moved to the couch and took a seat. I pouted at him, then turned to grab the microphone and stand to set it up before joining him on the couch. He had already broken into a box of lo mien and was flipping through the song list.

"You can put it on random," I told him, helping myself to some fried rice. "But since this was your idea, no skipping songs. Renee would always skip song after song when we put it on random, and it drove me crazy."

"Fine by me. Who's going first?" He took one look at the face I was giving him and jumped up. "Okay, okay. I'll go first." He stood by the mic stand and pressed the random button. "Here we go."

I watched it scroll lightening fast through the song selection, and I almost spit out a bit of rice when I saw what it landed on.

"Britney Spears?! No way. I'm not doing it." He moved to press the random button again, but I nearly jumped off the couch to stop him.

"No skipping songs!" I shouted. "You promised!" He looked over at me and attempted his best 'pity me' face, but I just shook my head. "Come on, Jacob. _Oops I did it again_….get started."

Groaning loudly he pressed play. The music started and he just stood there for a second, then abruptly put his hand on his hip and cocked it to the side.

"_I think I did it again._" His voice was as high pitched as it could get, and he pretended to flip his hair back. I busted out laughing, actually spitting out my rice this time.

"_I made you believe, we're more than just friends". _He gripped the mike with his hands,_ "Oh baby, it might seem like a crush, but it doesn't mean that I'm serio-o-ous." _Jutting out his bottom lip, he tried to do a girly-pout, but laughed before he could accomplish it. _"Because to lose all my senses…that is just so ty-pic-lly me. Oooo baby baby."_ I snickered as he swayed his hips comically with the beat.

Throwing his hands in the air he turned to me._ "Oops! I did it again!"_ He pulled the microphone from the stand and strutted my way. "_I played with your heart, got lost in the game. Oh, baby baby."_ Shaking his head flamboyantly with each 'baby' he continued in the most girlish voice he could muster. "_Oops! You think I'm in love. That I'm sent from abo-oo-ove…,"_ Sticking out one hand and wagging his fingers with the words, he sang, _"I'm not that innocent." _

I clutched my sides as I rolled around the couch in laughter. He continued to dance and strut around the room while he belted out the rest of the song. When he reached the end, I was still clutching my side and gasping for air between bursts of laughter. He struck a final pose with cocked hips and his hand in the air, and I fell to the ground giggling.

We continued to overdose in Chinese food and embarrass ourselves trying to do karaoke for hours. I almost died from embarrassment when I had to sing 'Let's Get It On.' I could feel my cheeks burning uncomfortably and I refused to look over at Jacob for the first half of the song. Finally giving in, I glanced over at him on the couch and he was leaning back with his hand covering his mouth, but I could see his hidden laughter lighting up his entire face. Reaching down to grab a discarded pillow, I chucked it at him, and then we both laughed throughout the rest of the song.

It wasn't until much later that I noticed what time it was. Jacob had just finished Iron & Wine's 'Flightless Bird, American Mouth' when I glanced at the clock and saw that it was well past midnight. I knew it was my duty to point out the time to him, but I really didn't want him to leave. Once he left, I would be alone again and stuck trying to sleep through nightmares of losing Edward. Biting my lip, I decided I would tell him what time it was after a few more songs.

"Okay Bella. Your turn again." He placed the mic back on the stand and smiled as he walked past me.

Pressing the random button I waited for it to choose a song, it ended up selecting 'What Hurts the Most' by Rascal Flatts. Biting my lip I wracked my brain trying to remember the song; it sounded vaguely familiar, but I still couldn't place it.

"Oh! Um…Bella…if, um, if…if you want to choose a different song you can," Jacob stammered.

That was weird. I gave him a puzzled expression and he just said, "I mean... you don't have to do this song." The music started and I shook my head, confused, before turning to the screen to read the lyrics as I began to sing.

"_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me. I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out. I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while, even though going on with you gone still upsets me…" _My voice faltered to a whisper as I digested the words. Still managing a light whisper I continued, "_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok, but that's not what gets me."_

"Bella…"

I ignored Jacob and went on singing barely above a whisper.

"_What hurts the most was being so close. And having so much to say and watching you walk away. And never knowing what could have been and not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do."_ My voice was a mere squeak and I could feel tears well up in my eyes, threatening to spill over. The next verse began, and I was unable to summon my voice. I knew I could stop the song, but I felt a need to continue, an uncontrollable desire to continue.

Finding my place in the song, I opened my mouth and softly whispered, "_Still harder, getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret." _The word regret echoed in my head relentlessly, as my eyes were burning with tears dying to be released. Realizing I had stopped singing again, I tried to keep going. "_What hurts the most, is being so close," _slowly I collapsed to the ground, "_And having so much to say and watching you walk away." _

I felt a pair of strong arms encircle me, but I kept whispering the words as Jacob rocked me back and forth. _"And never knowing what could have been."_ I could hear Jacob's frantic whispers in my ear, and I felt my tears finally pour over and run down my cheeks as I choked out, _"And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do." _

The music continued playing in the background as I trembled in his arms, then suddenly I felt a second pair of small arms surround me from the other side. Lifting my head from Jacob's now drenched shirt, I found myself staring into a pair of golden amber eyes.


	13. Alice

Chapter 13~Alice

BPOV

"Alice?" I gasped, my voice sounding raspy and weak from the tears.

Her face lit up in a smile and she pulled me closer to her, knocking Jacob down in the process. My face was pressed against her chest, and her scent overwhelmed my senses as I breathed it in deeply.

"Oh Bella!" There was a mingling of excitement and worry in her voice. I wanted to wrap my arms around her in return, to let her know how desperately I had missed her, but I couldn't. She shouldn't be here. I left to protect her, to make things easier for her. Why was she here? I told her to let it be…to let me go. Why couldn't she just listen to me?

An immediate sense of loss swept through me as I felt her remove her cool arms from around me and scoot backwards. She was a few feet away from me now, sitting on her heels. Her eyes focused on mine intently, as if she were unsure of what to say or do, which was so out of character for her.

I could sense my anger trying to take over. I wanted to be mad at her. To be upset that she was here… upset that she couldn't just listen to me for once. But I needed her.

I loved her.

I missed her.

"Alice?" My voice was still weak and barely audible, but she moved a bit closer to me, her eyes wide with relief and hesitation.

"Bella." The musical tone of her voice danced in my ears as she inched even closer to me.

My bottom lip quivered and I felt fresh tears slowly flow down my cheeks. I hurled myself forward, across the small amount of space separating us, and slammed into her body, knocking the breath out of me. I gasped for air as I clung tightly to my best friend, as if I was clinging to life itself.

I barely recognized the coughing noise coming from behind me until his voice broke through. "What's going on?"

Refusing to let go of my friend, I whispered my response just loud enough for him to hear. "It's Alice," I sighed contently, feeling a slow trickle of tears escape.

"Hello Jacob. I'm Bella's best friend." The excitement in her voice was unmistakable.

"My best friend," I murmured happily, feeling the exhausted side of me threatening to take over.

"You need to sleep Bella. If you stay up any later, you'll never make it to school tomorrow," she whispered.

I felt myself being lifted, but not by Alice's arms. Instead, I was being cradled against Jacob's chest. He felt so warm after being surrounded by Alice's cool body.

"I'll take her to her bed," he stated. I picked up on the commanding tone in his voice as he began to walk out of the living room.

_Alice._

"No! Wait!" I cried, throwing out my arm to grab whatever part of the wall I could cling to. "Alice!"

Jacob gently placed me back on my feet, and Alice appeared at my side instantly, stroking my forehead lightly, leaving an icy trail in her wake. "I'll be here when you wake up. Promise."

Smiling, I threw my arms around her again and breathed her in. I let Jacob lead me to my room, but I never let my gaze leave hers until he tugged me into the bedroom.

"Where's your door handle?" He asked, examining the hole where the handle used to be.

"You broke it. The other night."

"No I didn't."

That was odd. He is the only other person besides me who has been here. Maybe he had just forgotten about it. Yes. That had to be it.

"There hasn't been anyone else here, it had to be you Jacob." He looked back at the hole for a minute before peeking his head outside the door looking down the hall towards the living room. Turning around, he grabbed a shoe from the floor and closed my bedroom door, using the shoe to keep it slightly open. "What is the shoe for?" I asked.

"So you can open the door. If you don't have a door handle, you'll be stuck in here. We can go by the hardware store tomorrow and get stuff to fix it." Pausing for a second, he scratched his head and then turned towards me. "Who's Alice?" He whispered, his tone confused and stressed.

"My best friend." Almost too quickly to catch, a wave of sadness swept across his face. "From Forks. My best friend from Forks. She's… she's… Edward's sister."

"Edward's sister?" He asked incredulously. "Edward? As in your Paris?"

"Yes," I whispered, ignoring his tone and grabbing a hair tie from my desk. Throwing my hair up in a ponytail, I noticed he still appeared stressed.

"I didn't realize your _best friend_ was _his _sister." His words were beginning to come out in a snarl.

"Why are you upset?"

"It's just… Bella… it's just… Why hasn't she come before now? Have you even heard from her since you left? Or from him?"

"No, but—" I didn't like where this was going.

"Exactly." He put his hands on either side of my face, staring deeply into my eyes. I could see the concern in them. "I just want you to be careful. If it were me, if I had been Edward, or even Alice for that matter, I wouldn't have let you leave."

_I wouldn't have let you leave._ There it was again. A hole opened up in the pit of my stomach as his words conjured up previous ones. _He did fight for you, right, Bella? If he loved you, I'm sure he did. _The hole in my stomach widened and threatened to swallow me whole.

"Bella? Listen, all I'm saying is… don't put all your trust in these people." His eyes were pained as he gently cupped my face.

"He did love me. Alice loved me. She stills love me… He stills love me." I whispered.

Jacob pulled me into a tight hug, and I could feel his breath in my hair as he spoke. "I wouldn't have let you leave Bella. I wouldn't have let you leave."

APOV

I rocked impatiently on the balls on my feet waiting for Jacob to reemerge from Bella's room. We were going to get in a fight. I had seen it before I had even come in the house. He didn't appreciate me showing up out of the blue. Out of the blue. As if I ever did anything _out of the blue_.

Listening absentmindedly to Bella and Jacob's hushed conversation, I grimaced a bit. He definitely did not care for what he had heard about Edward or me, and certainly was not too keen on me being here.

However, I was excited about finally meeting him. The first time he appeared in my visions, I was worried he would be nothing but trouble, but then my visions changed. He was sweet, honest, and truly cared for Bella. Jacob was a good friend to Bella.

Looking around the living room, I noticed that Renee really didn't have the best taste. Deciding that I would make a few adjustments to the house's décor while Bella was in school tomorrow, I made my way back out to my car to grab my bags.

Easily finding my way around the house, I placed my things inside the guest bedroom. It would also need some tasteful decorating. A soft pastel green would be perfect.

Re-entering the living room, I sat down on the couch waiting for Jacob. Only 1.2 seconds 'til he came out. Right on cue, he shut the door to Bella's bedroom and stood in the door way of the living room staring at me.

"Hello Jacob," I greeted him, standing up and walking towards him.

He merely clenched his jaw and began picking up the discarded Chinese take-out boxes. "Let me help you," I offered, remembering to move at a slow speed as I followed him into the kitchen. I mimicked his action, putting the leftover food in the refrigerator and throwing away the empty boxes. It would only be a few moments till he finally decided to say something.

He put the last box in the trash and turned to face me.

"How did you know my name?"

Whoa. I didn't see him asking me that question, must have been a split-second decision. He was observant, a lot like Bella had been when she first met us.

"Bella told me," I lied.

His jaw clenched again and he opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it. We stared at each other for a few minutes before he decided to continue. "So tell me, _Alice_, what made you decide to come visit Bella out of the blue?"

"She's my best friend. Best friends visit each other. When Bella moves back to Forks, I'm sure you'll come visit her."

"_When_ she moves back to Forks? Who said anything about her moving?"

"Nobody, but I like to think that eventually she will." _If we can find Victoria, that is. _I was sure, even though I hadn't seen it, that once we caught Victoria, everything would fix itself, and I would have my best friend back home with me.

"Maybe you shouldn't have let her leave in the first place," he challenged, crossing his arms across his chest and raising one eye brow.

"I tried to stop her. I tried to get her tell me why she was leaving, but she refused. I even tried to get Edward to go after her—"

"Edward! Everything seems to come back to this Edward. Do you have any idea what kind of life Bella has been living? What this _Edward_ has put her through?"

"She left him—"

"If he loved her, he would've _never_ let her leave! Her reasoning is ridiculous! Something about Paris and Helen and causing pain to everyone… It doesn't make any sense." _Paris and Helen? _Searching my memories frantically, I tried to figure out what he was talking about, how Paris and Helen fit into anything at all.

Oblivious to my confusion, he continued, "If it were me, I would have seen right through it and done everything in my power to convince her to stay!" His voice had risen dangerously high.

"Keep it down before you wake her up," I hissed. "Listen to me," I commanded, walking up to him and standing on my tip toes in attempt to reach eye level with him. "You don't understand. It's more complicated than you realize, and I can assure you that _you_ do not have the faintest idea of why she really left."

"I know what she told me. Bella left to protect your brother. And you. She left so your brother and you wouldn't have to worry about her anymore, and she wouldn't cause so much trouble in your family, whatever the hell that means. But that's what she said. That's why she left. Being able to give up true love in order to protect the one you love. That's exactly what she said."

"That's what she said?" I asked, already knowing his answer. He nodded, and I listened again to Bella's heartbeats. She left because she thought she was a burden.

_Oh Bella_.

She thinks we're happier without her, that Edward is happier without her.

_Bella…_

"You should probably go home, Jacob." He didn't budge. "Listen, I understand where you're coming from. But you must trust me when I say that you don't completely understand the whole situation."

He stood still for a second more, then looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Don't hurt her."

I nodded and he grabbed his things and headed for the front door while I followed. When he reached it, he turned back to look at me in the eyes again.

"Your…" He looked like he was concentrating hard on something and arguing about whether or not to voice his thought.

"Yes?" I asked.

He frowned and leaned forward just a little bit, squinting his eyes. _What was he doing? _

"Your eyes… they're…they're _gold_." He observed, with a bemused expression and baffled tone. "I've never seen eyes that color before."

He was observant.

"It's the light. Sometimes they look a bit odd when the light hits them," I lied. "My parents' eyes are the same way, and so are my brother's. I guess it's just a quirk that runs in the family.

He frowned, but dropped the subject and walked out the front door.

I locked the door behind him and was making my way to Bella's room when I realized that my vision of Victoria and Bella had changed. It had become fuzzy, almost non-existent. Smiling triumphantly to myself, I knew that we were all taking the right precautions. We would stop Victoria.

I crept into Bella's room; she looked peaceful, a soft smile playing across her lips and her breathing was even and calm.

_Bella… how could you possibly think we would be better off without you?_

Tucking the covers tightly around her body, I made a mental note that she needed to eat more. She had lost far too much weight. Making sure the covers were wrapped around her completely, I quietly laid down beside her.

"Alice…" Bella whispered in her sleep, her smile growing when she said it.

I gently pulled her body close to mine, careful to keep the covers around her, and hugged her against my chest.

"Bella," I whispered back to her, "I won't let anyone hurt you. Never again."

VPOV

My hair whipped around my face furiously as I approached Bella's house.

Tonight was the night.

Tonight I would get my revenge.

I contemplated paying tribute to James by videotaping the human's death. After learning from Laurent that Edward could read minds, I realized I wouldn't need a videotape at all; I just needed to hunt him down when I was done here and replay the images in my mind. It would be enough to bring him to his knees.

Rehearsing my lines in my mind, I walked at an agonizingly slow pace so I could ensure that each moment was played right. Every action, every word I said needed to be perfect. I would convince the dumb human. It would be almost too easy.

Sliding my hand into my jacket pocket, I checked to make sure I had the substances needed.

Everything was ready. Everything was perfect.

Venom poured into my mouth as I imagined what was about to happen. It was going to be beautiful.

Heartbreakingly tragic.


	14. A Few Simple Words

Chapter 14~ A Few Simple Words

VPOV

I was within sight of the human's house now. Sniffing the air, I prepared to breathe in the scent of her blood, willing for its delicious enticing smell to wash over me.

But there was another scent in the air.

_Vampire._

Automatically turning my power into full gear, I made sure there was no trace of my own scent in the air, and quickly moved underneath the girl's bedroom window. One set of heartbeats and the sound of her blood pumping through her pitiful veins was loud and clear.

"Bella, I won't let anyone hurt you. Never again." I knew that voice. It was the annoying little vampire. The one James lost all those years ago.

Alice.

The one who had visions.

_Damn_. This ruins everything.

Quietly backing away from the house, I knew I needed to rework my original plan. I would not let Alice get in my way.

_Why was she here? Does she know that I'm here?_

The only way she could possibly know that I was here would be Laurent.

Unless she had a vision.

_Damn._

Moving out of hearing range from Bella's house, I pulled out my phone and decided to call Laurent; I needed to know exactly what was going on.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three rings.

_He's scared. _

Four rings.

_He should be._

Five rings.

"Victoria." He sounded worried, terrified.

"Laurent, my good friend," I snarled. "Do you mind telling me why there is a Cullen with the girl now?"

There was a slight pause.

"Victoria, I—"

"I thought I had made my point clear to you. One step out of line and your precious Irina pays for it. Was that not clear to you before?"

"I didn't tell them anything!" He cried. "I swear Victoria! The little one, Alice, she had a vision of you with the girl, and they all freaked out—"

So, she did have a vision, I needed to know more. "What did she see?"

"I…I don't know…" Not good. If she had seen my plan it would be completely ruined.Laurent continued, "But they don't know where you are, they don't believe you know where Bella is. They are looking for you in Forks."

_They don't believe I know where Bella is…perfect. _Then she saw nothing in her vision of what I had in store for the human. My plan would still work; Alice would only be a minor complication. A complication that I knew I could easily figure out a way to deal with.

"Victoria, please, you have to believe me when I say that I told them nothing—"

"Spare me your begging. You're pathetic. How many Cullens are here in Phoenix?"

"Just the one." Perfect. "Another one is searching for Edward, and the rest are in Forks."

"Searching for Edward?"

"Yes, he went to Phoenix to get Bella, but at the last second changed his mind and disappeared."

"If I find out that you are lying to me about any of this—"

"I promise I'm not! Please Victoria—"

"Goodbye, Laurent."

So the Cullens are expecting me in Forks? I could easily keep them preoccupied with just a short trip up there. Lay down my scent, allow them to get a glimpse of me, anything to verify their belief that I have no idea where their pet is.

I ran towards the closest parking deck in hopes of finding a vehicle to my liking. Using a human means of travel disgusted me, but I could travel much faster this way; I didn't want to leave Alice alone with the girl for too long—she might undo everything with a few simple words.

However, I still needed to decide what to do about Alice. It would be next to impossible to get Bella alone if Alice continued having visions about me.

Theresa.

Theresa would work perfectly.

Taking out my cell phone again to call Theresa, I spotted a jet-black car and put the phone back in my pocket. The phone call could wait. This however was something I couldn't pass up.

Not only did the car have an appeal about it, there was also a pair of humans in the back seat. Their grunts and squeals pervaded the air as their sweet intoxicating scent of pure animalistic lust overtook all other smells.

How inviting.

Already angry because of the Cullens, the scent pushed me further into a frenzy. I threw off my trench coat and leaped to the car, unnoticed by the humans. I watched as the male thrust himself three more times into the female before he groaned out in pleasure and pulled out, noticeably leaving the female unsatisfied.

Pulling on the car handle, I was pleased that it was unlocked—it wouldn't do to scare my food before I had a chance to play with it.

Their heads shot in my direction as I climbed into the front seat, enthralled by the obvious surprise and fear in their eyes.

"Hello there." Leaning over the seat, an inch from the male's face I breathed in his ear, "I couldn't help but notice that you have a bit of unfinished business. Tisk, tisk." I ran my fingers over his jaw line and down in his chest as he trembled underneath my touch. "Why don't you let me help you out?"

Climbing all the way into the back seat, I could sense their arousal increase as I climbed closer to them; it was one of the beast features about being a vampire. Everything about me invites humans in,--my voice, my face, even my smell. _As if I need any of that_, I thought happily to myself.

I cupped the female's face in my hand, allowing my fingernails to dig into her flesh just enough to send the blood rushing to the skin underneath my touch. Her breathing and heart rate hitched. "Don't be afraid," I murmured, causing my voice to intentionally drip with a velvet seductive tone.

Looking into the male's eyes, I ran my tongue across her lips and she let out a soft whimper, parting her lips ever so slightly as I slipped in my tongue, not allowing hers to move as I roamed about inside her mouth. Her whimpers became louder and her hands reached into my hair, but I swatted them away and broke the kiss.

"None of that now. Be still." I ran the tip of my tongue from the corner of her mouth slowly across her jaw line and down her neck, stopping at the pulsing jugular vein. Playfully nipping at the skin, the female let out a cry of intense pleasure and I shifted my focus to the male again.

"Did you hear that? _That_ is how you pleasure a woman." He leaned forward and moved to kiss my neck and I slammed him back against the window with my foot. "Did I say you could touch me?" I growled, he shook his head slowly, lust pouring out every pore. "Now pay close attention," I told him.

With the tips of my fingers, I gracefully traced them from the female's navel slowly up between her breasts and back up to the jugular vein. Her back arched in agonizing desire as I pressed my lips to her neck.

Breathing in the scent of her blood, I curled my lips back and leisurely pierced her skin with my teeth, rejoicing in the thick rush of succulent blood pouring down my throat. My groans of delight contrasted sharply to the screams of the girl now convulsing in my arms, and the horrified gasps coming from the male still pinned down my foot.

The struggles of the male were becoming increasingly annoying as I enjoyed my meal, pulling my lips away I looked towards him. I could feel the steady trickle of blood run down my neck as he stared at me wide-eyed while he mumbled stupidly.

Stupid humans.

My foot pressed harder against his chest and I gradually brought the toe of my boot up to his chin. "You're getting on my nerves," I whispered, pulling my boot back slightly before thrusting the stiletto heel into the crook of his neck. His body shook violently as my heel pushed through the nerves and veins while tearing through muscle.

Helplessly, he tried to push away my leg, pressing his hands against me. Leaning forward and twisting the heel a tad to hit a nerve, I sent another tremor throughout his body and whispered, "You like the way my leg feels?" Grabbing his hand I ran it up my calf, up to my inner thigh. "Smooth isn't it? You'd like to reach further, wouldn't you?" His fingers curled in agony as I twisted his wrist, snapping the bone in half easily.

His beautiful screams filled my ears, each cry plucking a different note in my soul. Dropping his hand and reaching behind me, I dragged the limp body of the female into my lap, while keeping my heel securely in the male's neck, allowing a small amount of blood to ooze from the wound. He continued to shout in pain and thrash about trying to escape, causing a thrill to roll over me.

Bringing the female's neck back to my lips, I threw my head back in bliss as the blood once again flowed down my throat, sending me into a state of bliss. The mixture of the delicious blood with the delectable screams of her mate was pure ecstasy.

After finishing off both the humans, I discarded the leftovers and licked the backseat clean of any precious blood that was lingering there. Inserting the keys into the ignition, I drove out of the parking deck and decided to take a small detour by Bella's house to see if by any chance she had been left alone.

Of course not.

I could smell the vampire before I was even in sight of the house. Growling, I took out my cell phone and dialed Theresa while quickly whipping the car around and heading out of town on the way to Forks. I would only need to be there a few hours to lay down my scent and throw off the Cullens, and then I could be back here.

The phone rang silently in my ear.

I was sure that Theresa's ability would be perfect to manipulate Alice's visions, and if any of the Cullens decided to show up, I was also sure she could deal with them as well.

"Victoria, my old friend, I haven't heard from you in ages." Her childlike voice filled my ears, dripping with pleasantries. She always had a way about her that could charm anyone.

"Theresa. It has been too long."

"That it has. Tell me, Vicky—" I hissed silently, I hated that nickname. She giggled when she heard me. "Still don't like my little pet names for you? It's a shame really. It suits you. Oh well," she sighed playfully. "So tell me, _Victoria_, to what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?"

"I need a favor," I replied curtly.

There was a small moment of silence on the other end followed by the sound of her smiling and I could hear the eagerness in her response, "What do I need to do?"

My plan would be back on track.

***

BPOV

The smell of banana pancakes and the sound of Alice singing along to the radio, with her pitch perfect voice, had woken me up this morning. By the time I made it to school, my stomach was fuller than ever, my make-up and hair was perfect, and she had dressed me in a brand new outfit—that she just _happened_ to have.

I wanted to ask her about Edward. I wanted to know how he was, what he was doing…if he missed me. But I didn't—and she didn't mention him either.

I knew that I had completely forgotten to keep up my lie of being 'scared' of her. She knew I was lying from the very beginning, anyway. There really didn't seem much point to continue to lie to her. However, it would come up eventually, as would Edward's name. Eventually we would need to talk about it.

But for now, I was happy.

Jacob, on the other hand, acted as if there was a bomb waiting to explode in the vicinity. Throughout the entire school day, he eyed me worriedly and asked me question after question about Alice.

_What is Alice doing while you're at school? _

Reading the note Jacob had passed me during English class, I gave him an annoyed look before writing my response. _I told you already. She's probably just going to hang around the house._

_Isn't she in high school? Won't she be in trouble for missing class? Do her parents know she's here?_

Sighing I replied, _I'm sure she'll be fine. She's an 'A' student—I doubt missing a few days of class will matter. Why do you care anyway?_

He didn't write back.

After school he brought up the subject again when I mentioned that Alice would probably want to go shopping tonight.

"I thought you hated shopping," he stated as he watched me throw my bag in the backseat of my car, catching my arm in the strap of the back pack in the process

"I do, but Alice likes to shop," I muttered back, trying to untwist the strap from around my arm.

"She could have gone while you were gone." He leaned over me and tried to help. "She was probably bored just sitting around your house all day."

"Well it was sunny today," I replied without thinking, too busy trying to free myself.

His hands stopped untwisting the strap and he turned his head to look at me. "What does that have to do with anything?"

His eyes were a mere inch from mine since we were both cramped in the car door in our efforts to free my arm and I felt myself blush as I tried to think of a quick cover up.

"Well, she…uh…she probably sun bathed. She doesn't see a lot of sun in Washington," I hastily said, turning to look away from him. He yanked at the backpack and I stumbled back a bit as my arm finally disconnected from the strap. "Thanks." I told him as he stood back up.

Jacob just frowned and mumbled underneath his breath, "You're a horrible liar."

I pretended not to hear him.

***

"Alice, Jacob wants to come over for dinner tomorrow night. Do you think—"

"No! I don't think it will be a problem at all!" She squealed, jumping up and down as the other shoppers stared at us. "I really like Jacob, Bella. I have a confession to make—I've been watching you ever since you left—"

"Watching me? You've been in Phoenix this whole time?"

"No silly! I mean I've been searching for visions of you," she whispered. "And of course I saw a lot of Jacob. He's really nice, we're going to get along really well once he warms up to me. I can see it." she stated, her eyes glistening in delight.

We were in an upscale store downtown shopping for my bedroom. Alice claimed that Renee wouldn't mind at all if we did a little redecorating, especially in my own bedroom.

"It's a little out of date," she had informed me, concerning the decor. Having no say in the issue, we were now picking out a new comforter for my bed.

"Hmm, this purple would look good with the lamp we found, but so would this violet comforter," she mused, tapping her fingers on the shelf.

"Isn't purple and violet the same color?" I asked.

She gave me a playfully appalling look, "Oh Bella, you would be so lost without me—" She stopped talking abruptly and her face went blank. I recognized this expression, it was a vision. Glancing around making sure no one noticed her, I waited for it to finish.

Suddenly, her face came alive again and she whipped out her phone quickly.

"What did you see?" I tried to ask, but she was already talking faster than human speed to whoever she had called. I just barely caught the word 'Edward' before she hung up.

"What did you see Alice?" I questioned again.

"Oh nothing important," She chirped. "I think this comforter will work the best." Grabbing the comforter off the shelf she threw it into the shopping cart and looked back up at me. "You're going to be hungry soon. We should head back to your house."

Pushing the cart towards the front of the store, she turned around when she realized I wasn't following her. "Bella?"

"I heard you say his name. What did you see?" Crossing my arms across my chest, I was determined to not leave the store without an answer.

She turned the cart around and pushed it back towards me. "I was calling Rosalie. She couldn't find…him—"

"Edward," I stated.

She looked at me for a second and then continued. "Edward. She couldn't find Edward, and I called to tell her where he was."

My lips quivered as I spoke again. "Where was he?"

Pausing before she answered, she flatly replied, "Hunting. He was hunting. And she was looking for him."

Before I could press the issue further, her cell phone was ringing and she took it out and whispered, "its Jasper," before she turned away from me to answer.

I could hear Jasper's voice on the other end, he was talking a little louder than normal, seemingly excited about something. I stepped closer to her, desperate to catch some part of her conversation, still suspicious of her earlier vision. Before she walked away from me I heard Jasper say another name I knew, and there was no mistaking it.

Victoria.


End file.
